Friendship

I've been blessed all my life to have good friendships. I didn't realize how blessed I was until I was an adult and started hearing stories of people who didn't have good friends as a child, adolescent, and even adult. Some people are in a place where there are just not a lot of choices of good friends. Others just don't seem to connect because of circumstances or whatever. But after looking back over my life, I marvel at how God has provided me with good friends wherever I have been.

Friendship is something that I cherish. I may not be really vocal about that, and I should be!! I really need to tell all my friends how much a cherish them. I am a Sanguine personality by nature, and if I didn't have someone to talk to, I think I would go insane. My incessant chatter doesn't always go over well with my choleric/ phlegmatic husband. So I crave the company of good women friends who share the same ideals, values, and beliefs as I do. I'm not saying that I can't be friends with someone different than me, but you know how nice it is to just talk with someone and not have to worry about what you say!! :)

I have to say, and I mean this with all my heart, that my best friend is my husband. He fits me beyond any match I could have ever asked for! I thank God everyday for ordaining our marriage before the beginning of time. There is no doubt that he is who I should be with.

After him, I can say with no reservation that my Mama is my next best friend!! She truly deserves to have her children "rise up and call her blessed." She has always been a wonderful role model for me as a wife and mother, and she has always been a wonderful grandmother to my children. When anything happens in my life, she is the one I call first. I want to share everything with her, and I'm so grateful to have her in my life.

As I look back over my life, I see friendships that began when I was two and three years old that I still have today!! Some stronger than others but all with special meaning to me. I even still have some childhood friends whose children are special friends with my children! I cherish these relationships. I met and made friends throughout my school years--some lasted longer than others--but each were important in my life.

Then I got to college, and I knew NO ONE!! My college friendships took on a different meaning. These were girls that I lived with everyday. We laughed together, studied together, played together and even maybe fought together (although not too often!) There are five of us that are still the closest of friends. We get together every 18 months or so. We have all changed in so many ways as we all live very different lives with different husbands in different parts of the country, but one thing remains the same--Jesus. With him being the center of our relationship, we never skip a beat when we get back together. It's just the same as when we were all living together on the same hall all those years ago.

I have also been blessed with friends in adulthood. After I got married, my husband and I stayed on Lookout Mtn. for a few years. I was a good bit younger than other married adults I knew. It was pretty easy, though, to stay close to others from college who stayed around the area as well. But then I had a baby. Having a baby changes a lot! I was 23 years old and looking for a friend in the same situation as me!! I found a wonderful friend who was my best buddy for the next few years. Our boys were two weeks apart in age and spent most of the first 3 1/2 years of their life together. I don't talk to her too often anymore, but I am still thankful for the role she played.

After moving to Naples, I was worried about not finding good friends again. God has since taught me never to worry about those things. He always provides! He has given me more friends than I could ever hope for here. Some have lasted the entire 10 1/2 years that we've been here, others not as long. But, once again, each has played a role. I have found a multitude of homeschooling friends that share our values, beliefs and decisions for our children. That has been such a blessing. I also have plenty of good friends at church. I have friends that share our beliefs that children are a blessing and share our desire to teach their children to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, and mind. Yesterday, a good friend, (who is a relatively new friend) offered to come over and help me clean up my house!! That doesn't happen very often. My first response was to say, "No, that's okay. I can do it." But that's my prideful heart! I don't want to admit that I can't do it all. And I certainly don't want anyone to actually see that I can't! :) But I decided to accept the help and let her come. I'm so glad I did. It was a blessing to both of us. She brought her children, and they all played with mine while we worked. We worked with babies on our hips. We worked side by side while talking, and we worked in separate rooms as well. I thank God for her friendship.

I would encourage you to let people in. Be an open friend so that others will be open with you. Allow people into your life. Seek out God honoring relationships, and pray that your conversations will be honoring to Him as well. Take time to sit together, sip some tea (even amid the mess of your messy life) and strengthen the relationships that God has placed before you.

Convictions

"Don't worry that your children never listen to you, worry that  

they are always watching you." -Robert Fulghum

I saw this quote on Facebook this morning, and it really hit me. I mean, this is not new information to me, but it pricked my conscience enough to really make me think about what this means in my life.

How many times to I get on my "high horse" because my kids just 'won't listen!' If only they would listen and do what I said things would be so much easier and efficient. If they would just obey, life would work out grandly. If they would keep their room clean like I tell them to, put their dishes in the dishwasher when they are dirty, unload the dishwasher when it's their turn, take out the cat litter when they are told, make their beds, blah, blah, blah. (You get the picture.) Instead, they don't keep their room clean (just like I don't), they leave their dishes on the counter or in the sink or even on the table (just like I sometimes do), they forget to unload the dishwasher (just like I do), they complain about the cat litter (just like me), and their beds are a mess (just like mine.) Hmmmm....

I've been convicted about this before, mind you. It's not something new in my life. For a long time, I didn't want to really pin point what this character flaw was inside of me. I mean, it's not a very nice thing to have said about you--even when it's coming from yourself! It took me awhile to come up with the right word, but I do believe it's called diligence! Now, I don't think there's a word such as "undiligent" so maybe the negative is just that I'm NOT diligent!! See there, now that doesn't sound good at all. But it's the truth!! I'm really good at going out and doing the fun stuff in life. I can pick up and go at the drop of a hat. A friend called this morning to ask if we could go to the park this afternoon, and even though I had set aside the day (rather, the week) to undecorate, clean and organize, I decided instead that it sounded much more fun to go to the park and fellowship!! Now, I have to say in my defense that this is a friend who lives out of town and we hardly ever just get to sit and hang out so it actually was a special situation. But it's certainly not an isolated incident!!

I love to be doing things out of the house. I'm in charge of the children's musical at church, and we are  getting ready to start that in January. That gets me going!! It's fun. It's exciting. As I've said before, I love teaching kids about Jesus, and I love seeing them praise Him. I also love homeschooling my kids. I love to read to them, teach them to write, study history, give assignments, and I don't even mind teaching them math!! So it's not that the things that take precedence in my life are necessarily BAD, it's just that I never get around to getting the stuff done that I really should be doing--and it's because of my lack of diligence.

You see, I know that when I wake up at 6 am, get myself ready, get my quiet time in and start in on household chores before the rest of the house wakes, my days go much more smoothly! I know that if I lived by the schedule that I make out each year at the beginning of the school year, we would get much more schoolwork done, and the house would stay cleaner as well. I KNOW these things!! And yet, I'm not diligent enough to make sure that they happen. You see, I LOVE to sleep! But I also have this little issue in that I LOVE to stay up late and do things then. But I don't like to do things like clean or organize or anything constructive. I want to play on facebook or work on online scrapbooking. (or write on my blog) Those things are fun!! So when I do those things at night, after the kids are in bed, I stay up way too late and the baby wakes once during the night, and then I feel justified to sleep in. So I wake when the baby wakes in the morning--and my day starts about 2 hours behind where it should have!!

As for schedules....I know they work. Oh, I know. I start the school year with one, and it runs smoothly--for about two weeks. Then somewhere my brain thinks, "This is so BORING! The same routine everyday??? If I have to live my life like this for a year, I'll go insane!!" I'm not a routine girl! I love spontaneity. I don't mind in the least getting all six kids out to run around to different places--even just to do errands because it's an adventure. At least it's the only kind of adventure my life can afford right now!  I've always driven all the kids (usually by myself) to my parents about 3 times a year. The drive is supposed to be about 8 hours. When my husband comes along, it is usually close. When I do it (during the day) it has been as long as 12!! That's why I usually do it at night--much to my Daddy's dismay!! But I don't have trouble staying awake, and it's much easier to drive when the kids are sleeping. But it's an adventure--one that I don't mind or worry about at all.

So now I'm paying for all this. #2 is just like me! She is constantly wanting to "go do something." She doesn't like to be at home doing what must be done. She always says to me each morning, "Mom, what are we going to do OUT of the house today?" And each time it's a little reminder for me to practice my diligence to teach them by my actions--not words!! Most importantly, I'm disobeying God's word.

³Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, ⁴and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, ⁵to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.  Titus 2: 3-5

Did you catch that? "working at home." We, as older women, (and yes, I have to admit that now I am that to more than just my own children!!) are to teach the younger women to do many things--among which is to be working at home!! Most of those other things I don't struggle with too much, but that one is the one!! How can I teach others this through my words when I don't live it with my actions? What a huge lesson in self discipline!!

Now my husband, he's diligent! He does what needs to be done without complaint. And he sticks to it. When he determines to clean his closet or clean the garage (which isn't too often, but I can't blame him for that) or start (and finish) an exercise program or carry out a New Year's resolution--he does it! He can't understand why I start a project and then get bored half way through only to go on to something else. I know it's my Sanguine personality, but that's no excuse!! My mother is diligent! She gets stuff done around the house when it needs to be done. She runs on routines and schedules. My sister-in-law is the same way. She has her kids on amazing schedules that run like clockwork.

My prayer is for more diligence! My prayer is for more self-discipline! If for nothing else other than to be the example that my children need!! Because, yes, it is true that they may not listen to my words, but they sure are seeing my actions!!

After the excitement...

Well, Christmas night is here. What a great Christmas it was. Christmas is always wonderful because of Jesus, but I have really loved this year! We didn't have much to spend this year. It's probably the least we've ever had to spend and the most kids to spend it on!! So we told them up front that there would be one present. They were all okay with that! Of course, they got plenty from grandparents and stuff that they loved, and it was very fun to see them open their gifts that they had been anticipating for so long. But because of not buying much this year, I was a whole lot happier! :) Things were way more laid back and relaxed during the whole season. I wasn't worried about "who had more presents" or "one more thing that I had to get." It was wonderful! It also gave me a lot more time to focus on Jesus and the gift that He was to us on that first Christmas.

My heart swells with gratefulness to our Lord for all he has given! I think about my amazing husband who is more than I could have ever known he would be 16 1/2 years ago when we said "I do." At 20 years old, how could I have known what I would need for the rest of my life? How could I have known what I was getting into? How could I have known how to be married at all? I definitely had great role models in my parents. I definitely had an easy, laid back husband to grow with me. But I give all the credit to God! He hand-picked this man for me before the foundation of the earth! And let me tell you, he couldn't have found a better match! :) I mean that with all my heart. There's no man on earth that is more suited for me or that fits me better. I'm convinced.

Then my mind drifts swiftly to my children--all six of them so vastly different! Yes, a couple of them have some of the same quirks and traits that they inherited honestly, but all with such unique personalities. To think that God designed them individually, made them exactly how HE wanted and then entrusted them to us to keep for Him is overwhelming. How could he love me THAT much to bless me THIS much??

I love teaching them about Jesus. I love talking about Him. I love that they are learning everyday more and more to see things through his eyes! I love to see a breakthrough in their hearts!! Yes, they all revert back (alot of the time!!) to their sinful, fleshy hearts, but don't I as well? My goal is to love them and parent them like my Heavenly father loves and parents me. He isn't quick or harsh with punishment. He's patient and kind. He lovingly shows me the error of my ways with gentle reminders and pricks to my conscience. Then his Holy Spirit gives me the ability to change those sinful ways. I want that for my children. Yes, they have the Holy Spirit as well, but God has also given them me to guide them. He's given them parents to show them the right way, lead them patiently and lovingly help them get back on the right path. How I long to be more like him.

So the season will soon be over. Christmas lights will come down. (My little ones are still exclaiming over them every time we are out at night just like they are brand new!) The Christmas music will stop in the stores, and there will once again be no allowance of Jesus to be mentioned in the public sector. But isn't it wonderful that no one can ever take him out of our hearts! "Thy word have I hid in my heart." Once it's hidden there, no one can take it. Thank you, Jesus! Thank you for becoming the Living Word--for putting on flesh, for humbly being born as a helpless baby to a lowly teenage mother and carpenter step father. Thank you for leaving your glory to make yourself known and understood to the least and lowliest shepherds! And thank you for making yourself known to me! I love you, my precious Redeemer.

Merry Christmas all! Count your blessings tonight and ponder them as we go into 2011. Who knows, this could be the year of our Lord's return?

My Warrior--I'm always protected

My sword-wielding son

Okay, so my (almost) 14 year old is obsessed with weapons. I don't know if this is normal, but it is for him! As I have named him on the right side of my blog, he is my Warrior Child. He loves any kind of knife, gun, grenade, fire arm, or SWORD! Last year when he turned 13, we got him this sword that he wanted. The purpose was to hang on his wall for display. So he just now ordered the display case for it. Along with that, he also ordered this scabbard. (I just found out that the "case" for a sword is called a scabbard. I was calling it a "sheath" and he informed me that was for a knife--not a sword.) So now very often I see him walking around the house with this sword strapped to his back--like he's going to need it at any moment and must be ready! :) Makes me laugh! But I sooooo love his Warrior Heart!

Another picture of him taking care of the baby with his sword--ready for battle! :)
Such a sweet picture of that strong, sensitive type we all love (at least I do!)

Letting the little ones fall through the cracks

Do you find that you do this? Sadly, I was convicted of this yesterday!

Here we are, a homeschooling family, trying to bring our children up to know and love the Lord. He's in our everyday conversation. We live our lives focusing on seeing things through His eyes. I try to bring his perspective into every situation. And yet, as we were driving around yesterday, all #5 wanted to sing was Jingle Bells. I tried and tried to get her to sing something focused on Jesus. All the other kids were happy to sing Away in a Manger or Joy to the World. But #5 kept insisting on Jingle Bells. Finally, I asked her, "Sweetheart, don't you know that Christmas is about Jesus? We should sing songs to praise Him." Her answer was, "No!" I asked who's birthday it was at Christmas. (I know she knows the answer to this.) And she didn't answer--just said, "No!"

I thought about #1 when he was 3 years old. He knew every answer to every question about the nativity. He could tell you the Christmas story with no problem. We discussed really theological things on a daily basis. He was my only one at the time, and I guess we had more time for that.

I've noticed it through the years as they've grown. With each child, there's less time to discuss our beliefs in deep conversation. And yet, this is the most important thing we can discuss!! Yes, we do our catechisms. We memorize verses. We read Bible Stories and pray. We do the Jesse tree at Advent. We bring Jesus into everyday discussion. It always goes back to Him! But somehow they aren't getting it like #1 did. He still is the one who is the deep thinker about these things.

But maybe that's just it. Maybe it was him--that first child thing as well!! But I can tell you that this was a wake up call!! We're going to sit down today and talk about the nativity story. Maybe I've just assumed that she knew. I'm going to be way more focused and intentional with her and the rest of them this week--to make sure they really know what Christmas is all about

.....and that they are not falling through the cracks!!

Ballet debut

Saturday night was Christmas at Mercato here in Naples. The stores were open late, there were bands playing Christmas songs, Santa was there, and there was even SNOW!! #4 loved that part. Of course, it was sudsy bubbles blowing out of blowers, but she didn't care. She danced all around in it!! :) #5's ballet class also danced as part of the entertainment. They danced to "Suzy Snowflake" and were all just as cute as they could be!! 

#5 in front of the Christmas tree.

Here was #4 dancing in the "snow."

The Assault on true Womanhood

The Feminist Revolution has done everything it can to snuff out true womanhood! Maybe you think that "revolution" is too harsh a word to use--but I would disagree! I have had it on my heart to write about this since browsing in Barnes and Noble on Wed. while my boys were at the dentist. I walked by a calendar and noticed the outside had a picture of a 1950's housewife with two children playing in the background. She was dressed in her apron and heels, cooking away with a smile on her face, and the caption read, "It's okay, I didn't want a real life anyway."

I can't tell you how sad this made me--tears immediately sprang to my eyes! It made me sad because so many women have bought into this lie!! A life with children, being busy in the home, making it a place that is warm and welcoming and nice for a husband to come home to is somehow not a "real life." How differently the world and our culture look at women than the way that God looks at women! I've heard it even from Christian women that being a mom and a homemaker is just not enough. Women look everywhere they can in this world to find satisfaction for their wanderlust hearts. The sad news is that they are not going to find it out there! The feminine regime as a whole is (and has been for awhile) strapping on their uniforms--college degrees, master's degrees, work experience, and sometimes even literal uniforms of the armed forces--to set out in search of what they think "real life" should look like!

We've all been told that this started during WWII. Then men went off to war, and the women had to join the workforce to get the work done at home. Well I have a question. What happened in all the other wars? Did the work just not get done? Didn't seem to stop progress. I would argue that the problem started loooong before that!! It started back in the Garden of Eden when Eve was lured into believing the first lie ever told--that there was something better out there! She had it all--a man who adored her, beauty all around, food in abundance, a pure, uninhibited relationship with the God of the Universe!! And yet she threw it all away for the promise of something more. She was promised that she would be just like God. And right then she made a choice that would affect womankind forever. She chose her own pride--just like so many women today still choose.

You see it and hear it everywhere! Women are just the same as men. We should be treated the same--equal pay, equal time in the workforce, equal in the boardroom, equal jobs at home, equal responsibilities with the kids, etc. etc. I even had a shirt when I was in second grade that said, "Whatever boys can do, girls can do better!" (Mama, how did you ever buy for me and let me wear such a shirt??) :) I don't remember many clothes from my youth, but somehow that one sticks in my mind!! I remember it was pink with glittery writing, and I loved to wear it! Thankfully, it didn't affect my thinking too much. But it proves that from an early age, we are teaching our little girls that they can do it all! That translates into *This world expects for you to do it all.*  Girls should do just as well as boys in school and sports. Then they should master the higher education world as well. They still need to stay "pretty enough" and "thin enough" to get a good man and eventually get married--but not too early, of course. They need to live first! They need to travel, get a good job and be self sufficient first because they don't need to rely on any man to take care of them. After they have gotten married and gotten their careers off the ground, then they may think of having children--but not too many because that would mess up their plans as well. So we shove birth control at them and tell them to wait. We tell them that they need to enjoy life and each other as a couple and have enough money to be able to give their children everything they could possibly need or want. I've even heard Christian women say that they aren't going to have children at all. All of their reasons, of course, are completely selfish. In Malachi, God says that the reason for marriage is to "produce godly seed." I don't think it could be much clearer that if we marry, we are to have children! (I realize that there are some couples who are unable to have children, and my heart goes out to them!! I believe that God is sovereign over the womb, and His ways are higher than ours. I would never want to question the mind and actions of God!)

No wonder women are tired, grumpy and worn out. No wonder they yell at their children, have no patience with them and can't enjoy life. Too much is expected from them. My favorite days are the days I spend with my good friend and sister in Christ sipping tea, sitting on the couch, talking about our lives--homes, husbands, children, and really deliberating on how we can be stronger vessels and better examples for our God. After one of these days, I feel refreshed and better able to love my kids and husband. I am encouraged to fight the Christian fight. We need time to sit and relax. We need time to have fun--not always scheduled into our busy days--but just spontaneous fun that doesn't happen unless you take life a little more slowly. And I'll tell you that having babies does this!! It makes you take life more slowly! Once your kids get to the age where they are very easy to transport around and don't really need naps too often, you find yourself overcommitting again! Believe me, I know this from experience! None of us are exempt!!

In trumpeting the Feminist Movement, women have actually put more pressure on themselves than before. The reason for the movement was supposed to make women more free. We were supposed to be more free to be independent, to pursue our dreams, to make our own money, be in charge of our own destiny--without a husband or pesky children to hinder us. (That was the very idea that the 'great' feminist of the 1900's Margaret Sanger had.) And yet women can't seem to get rid of the true yearnings that were built right into their DNA. Women still yearn to be swept off their feet by Prince Charming. We still want to be pursued and fought for. We still want to wear beautiful things and make our homes beautiful. We have those maternal instincts that must be used for something!! I believe that that's why when women don't have children, they feel the need to have pets to take care of and nurture. Look no further than little girls--little girls who have been untouched by the feminist culture. I see my three little girls and how they get giddy when they have on a new "twirly" skirt--the twirlier, the better! I see how they lovingly play with their baby dolls and barbie dolls. And they are in pure heaven when they can play house with their "live" baby doll--their baby brother!!

It's the same nature that makes my boys who they are! You wouldn't catch them playing with dolls! Their natures are looking for adventure! It's this adventuresome nature that drove my (almost) 14 year old son to camp out last night and get totally soaked by the rain in the early morning hours! It's that nature that drives him to find anything he can do that crosses just over the line of dangerous! It's that nature that makes my seven year old son carry around his wooden sword and shield, light saber, or at the very least pocket knife constantly!! My oldest always tells me that he has this urge inside of him to fight! He is a Warrior! He needs something to fight for. Who knows? Maybe some lucky lady one day will win his heart and be the prize for whom he gives it all. If that's true, she will know what it means to truly feel loved--because don't we all want that? We want our man to fight for us! We want to be in that great adventure with him--to play the part of the one being won. It's ingrained in our deepest feminine nature.

So starts the battle for our souls. The world tells us we must be self sufficient to be happy. It even makes us feel silly or shallow for wanting to feel beautiful. But within us, we feel something differently. We must remember that we were made in God's image. Everything truly feminine about us was put there by him. We are no less than a man. We are not to be treated as less. We are equal in God's eyes--as we are his children! But WE ARE DIFFERENT!! Oh, are we different! And we should celebrate those differences!! Men are made to fight for a cause. Who would they fight for if there were no "causes" (women) who wanted to be fought for?

I'm not saying that everyone woman is the same. I'm not saying that a woman can't enjoy mowing the grass or playing sports or fixing a car! I'm not saying a woman should never work outside the home. And I'm certainly not saying that men shouldn't ever do the dishes or help around the house or put the kids to bed!! No way! Every family has different roles that work for them. But deep within every woman is the desire to nurture, to be loved for who we are, to be told we are beautiful, to be taken care of and to take care of others. We shouldn't shun those things as bad because they are different from a man. Embracing our talents of making a home beautiful, bringing up our children, and taking care of our husbands is a truly noble thing. It's the way we work. It's the way families really work best. And it's being trampled on more and more by society every day.

So don't be ashamed to throw off those feminist ideals that have seeped into the very fabric of living. Instead, replace them with true femininity that unabashedly proclaims "I am a woman! I love my husband. I love my children. I love my Jesus. These things make me beautiful! And, yes, these things give me a 'real' life!"

Birth Plans--Are they worth it?

I’ve heard different takes on birth plans. I know some mamas are all about them–have them written out during the first trimester and want their doctor to sign and seal them with blood! On the other hand, I hear from some nurses that no one even pays attention to them. I tend to fall somewhere in the middle. I mean, having your doctor sign your birth plan does not in any way INSURE that you will have the birth that you planned! Any sort of a complication can arise that would mean a different turn from your plan–especially in a hospital with an OB. Let’s face it, a “complication” to an OB is not necessarily the same as a complication to a midwife. But that’s a different post…. Now, I also tend to disagree with the belief that no one pays attention to them at all. I think it makes a statement just in the fact that you have one. If you care enough to sit and think about what your desires and requests are in your labor and delivery and put them down on paper, then you should certainly be commended and recognized for that. Even if no one read it (which most certainly someone will) they would at least know that you have an idea about what you want out of your birth experience. That speaks volumes. That lets the OB and nurses know that you aren’t just going to passively sit or lie by and let them make all the decisions for you and your baby.

So, I do think it’s a good idea to have one. That being said, I think there are some guidelines you should follow.

1. Keep it short! Limit your plan to one page! Too many pages, and it’s more than likely that it will just get dropped in the trash and you will be labeled one of those high maintenance moms, and sadly, some nurses might try to see to it that you learn that things don’t always go as you planned. A one page birth plan is very reasonable, and most nurses will be happy to read through it and, as I said above, realize that you are taking an active role in your labor.
2. Only focus on the things that are truly the most important to you!Make sure that you think about THE most important thing to you and make that #1 on your list!! After that, go down in descending order of what’s important. You may have to give a little on certain things so make sure you think about the things that you truly don’t want to give on.
3. Keep it positive! Don’t start your sentences with “I won’t do ….” Try to state it positively. For example, “If my labor stalls, I would like to try natural ways to help it along and would like to discuss any use of synthetics before they are administered” instead of “I do not want pitocin!”
4. Take it into your appt. with your OB (around 37-38 weeks) and have him/her sign it! No, it still doesn’t insure that it will all happen exactly like that, but at least you’ll be able to show your nurse when you go in during labor that your doctor has seen it and agreed to it. It’s also a way for your partner to hold your OB accountable if things start to get a little crazier than your comfortable with.
5. Be Flexible!! This is the most important part when you are birthing in a hospital! When you decided on your OB, you decided to play on their turf. Yes, you certainly still have rights. I’m not saying that!! But there will be some things that may not work exactly as planned or go as smoothly. That’s okay. If you go into it knowing this–and knowing that you did as much as you could to get the birth experience you wanted–you should still be relatively satisfied with your time there.

Now, here are some examples of things that you might want to include in your birth plan. This is certainly not an exhaustive list nor do you need to put everyone of these things on there!! Some of these might be very important to you–others not so much. These are in no order of relevance to anything! You need to think about what you really want and then decide how to put your own plan together. I did not take the time to make these all in a “positive” statement here.  Just giving you ideas to think about.

• Intermittent monitoring (instead of continual fetal monitoring)–once you are on a continual monitor, you are very constrained to a certain area and unable to do a lot of moving around which is what we want to do in labor!!
• Allowance to get in the bath/shower (this will depend on the facility and OB)
• Eating during labor It’s crazy to think that we should go through one of the hardest physical activities of our lives with no nutrition (even if it lasts 24+ hours) but that’s exactly what OBs expect. Get some facts and talk to yours!
• Using natural ways to boost a “stalled” labor Nipple stimulation (whether manually, by a partner, or with a breast pump) is one of the best way to boost your natural oxytocin levels.
• No pitocin or labor inducing drugs
• No epidural or medicated pain relief
• Limited (or no) vaginal exams
• No episiotomy
• Allowance of a birthing ball (during labor) and a birthing bar (while pushing)
• Allowance to push in whatever position feels “right”
• No “purple pushing” (Pushing while holding your breath to the count of 10–can burst blood vessels and really wears you out. Ask to push as your body tells you–I promise, IT WILL!!)
• Wait until cord stops pulsing to clamp
• Do not pull the placenta–wait for it to detach on it’s own
• Allow skin to skin contact immediately with baby
• Allow nursing as soon as mom and baby want after birth (This also helps uterus tighten up and prevents hemorrhaging)
• Do not take baby right away to weigh, clean up, etc.
• No Vitamin K shot; no Hep B shot (baby)
• No erythromycin in the eyes (baby)
• Do not clean vernix off of baby’s skin (This is the white, protective coating that baby has had on his/her skin in utero to keep the skin protected from being in water for nine months. Keeping it on for up to a day after birth has been shown to continue to protect from new outside things as well. Plus, it helps keep their skin very soft. It’s helpful to just softly rub it into baby’s skin over the first day.)
• Rooming-in only!
• No bottles or pacifiers

Like I said, this list is not exhaustive. If you can think of something else that’s been important to you in birth, please share it in the comments and I’ll include it in the list!

The Obstetrician Song- International Midwives Day is May 5th!

This is great!!

Sewing lessons

The two older girls having been taking sewing lessons this fall. I couldn't afford to pay someone so I asked an older lady in our church who loves to sew if she would just help them out. I thought it would be good to foster that relationship whether they sewed or not! :) #4 was the one who initiated the whole thing. She's very domestic and loves to cook and clean. She wanted to learn to sew. Well, she's only going to be 6 in January so I quickly realized after one lesson that what she really needs is a mom who sews so that she can run in and out and work at her own pace in her own time, but sadly, she doesn't have that!! So she's soaking up what she can. Now, my older daughter who is 8 1/2 is doing great. She sits and listens and really likes it. They are both doing great on their own levels, and they really enjoy it. I think the lady really enjoys it as well since she gets to spend time with young ones! She is Dutch, and today I had her share her countries' tradition of "Cinder Claus" (their Santa Claus.) It was really interesting. My girls decided that our Santa was better because her Cinder Claus had a "Black Pete" that always came with him and if boys and girls were bad that year--they didn't just get coal in their stocking--he TOOK them away in his bag for the year!! :) Ha!

Almond Joy Pie

Here's a recipe that I "sort of" invented for a gluten free Thanksgiving pie. I had seen the ingredients but not in a pie, and I had no idea of the amounts! :) So #4 and I played and fiddled and tasted until we got it right. We had a great time!! :) And it was very yummy. So several people have asked me for the recipe, and I thought I'd just post it here. If you're gluten free or just want a healthier alternative this Christmas, here ya go. It's all raw except for the maple syrup--which I guess is debatable. I've heard that it is an ingredient in some raw cookbooks, but when I looked it up online most of what I found said it couldn't be raw because it is heated too much in the process of making it. For me, it wasn't a big deal either way because I'm not doing all raw right now anyway. Oh, and you can choose what kind of coconut you want. I just used already sweetened coconut because I didn't want to have to do one more step. But if you want to use unsweetened shredded coconut and sweeten it yourself, that would be great!! Let me know how you sweeten your coconut really well.

filling:
3/4 C coconut oil
3/4 C maple syrup
1 C raw cacoa powder
3 T raw honey
dash salt
shredded coconut

crust:
2 C almonds
1/2 C dates
1/4 C maple syrup

For filling, put all ingredients (except coconut) in a VitaMix or high powered blender and mix until smooth and creamy--about 30 to 45 seconds.

For crust, put all almonds (reserve 8 whole ones) into food processor and process on high until you get a powder. You may need to fish out a few big pieces and put them back in until they are all powdered. Do the same for the dates. Mix almond powder and date powder with maple syrup in a bowl. Press into a pie crust.

Sprinkle a layer of shredded coconut on top of the crust then pour the filling in. Sprinkle a thick layer of coconut on the top of the filling and then place 8 almonds around--one for each piece.

Bubble Baths and Bonding

Mommy and baby bathing time is a great way to bond--especially with all natural bubbles!! This morning I took a bath with Arrow #6, and we both had a fun time splashing and relaxing. I used Aura Cacia aromatherapy bubble foam with lavender. It was great and made lots of good bubbles!! After he was really relaxed, I turned him over and let him lie on my legs. Then I gently massaged his back. He loved it and laid there for quite awhile. He was so relaxed when we got out (partially from the lavender, I'm sure) he nursed right away and fell fast asleep! Another plus! Then I had time to actually take a shower.

#2 joined in by snapping some cute shots of the baby. She was careful not to get mama in any of them!! #4 snapped a couple as well. Next time, I'll probably let all of the girls join us. The bathtub is big enough, but this time #2 had already gotten dressed for the day, and her hair was done from last night. She's got to go to church tomorrow and then sing in another program tomorrow night so I didn't want it to get wet!! :) And #4 has a friend over so that wouldn't have worked really well!

Here's the cute pictures from our fun bonding experience!

He still found a way to suck his thumb--even through all the bubbles!!

                     

First solids for #6

Well, he ended up eating acorn squash. He absolutely loved it--didn't spit out a bit, and I hardly had to clean him up at the end!! Sadly, it did not help him sleep any better last night! He still woke up at 1:30 and 4:30--his two times of choice. I even drank a margarita last night at supper out with friends, and even that didn't help!! On top of him waking up twice, we've had two little girls joining us in our bed each night for over a week, somewhere around the hour of 2 or 3 am. I'm exhausted! But here are the pictures from #6's first foods.

 His first bite! Yummy!!

After he was all done!! He was so happy! :)

Eating my words.... and some pears

Okay, I said a couple of months back that I never give my kids food AT LEAST til they are six months but usually more like seven or eight. Now, here I am about to eat my words! :) I haven't done it yet, but I just made baby some pears, and I've got an acorn squash roasting in the oven to be made later. This child is ready to eat!! He was just five months on the 29th of Nov. but I can't handle the lack of sleep anymore! I hate to say that's my reason, but it's about 90% of it!! He is waking up at least twice a night to nurse, and he's HUNGRY!! He eats a lot during the day and is constantly watching us eat. You can tell he is very ready! So I'll post pictures soon. I'm not sure that I'll get around to feeding him anything today. We are supposed to go out tonight at 6:30 with friends, but if not I'll do it tomorrow. After all....tomorrow is another day! :) (Name that movie quote!)

How could they have missed it?

I've been thinking about the Christmas story today from a little different perspective. What about the perspective of the citizens of Bethlehem? I mean, that town was full to the brim--so full that there was no room anywhere for a VERY pregnant lady to have a bed. I wonder if anyone was out for a nightly stroll when Mary was in the throws of labor. Now, I'm not saying she was screaming hysterically or anything, but having had quite a few babies myself, I know what it feels like. I also know that the first time, no one can prepare you exactly for what it's going to feel like. The fact that she had no help besides Joseph (and no doubt he wasn't much help) probably means she was pretty scared. Knowing a thing or two about birth, I know that being fearful during the birthing process makes it much harder and longer. So I'm thinking that she probably let out a yelp or two! Maybe someone stopped by to help? Maybe some kind lady who understood oh too well exactly what she was going through.

After Jesus was born--probably relatively quietly in the little stable--the Bible tells us that an angel appeared to some shepherds out in their fields nearby. After the angel announced Jesus' birth, Luke 2:13 says, "Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel..." I've heard scholars say that there were probably a thousand or even ten thousand angels. Okay, SOMEBODY other than those shepherds had to have seen those angels!! Can you imagine? You're checking out the sights in Bethlehem--home of your youth. You've come back for the census, and you haven't been there in years. You're taking your wife to the places you used to hang out as a kid, and low and behold you hear the loudest "ALLELUIA" you've ever heard. You look up and there's hundreds, even thousands of glorious beings lighting up the night sky singing the greatest praise and worship service there's ever been. Come on...don't tell me you're not gonna wonder what's going on???

How could they have missed it? How could this whole town not having been buzzing about what was going on in the stable behind the inn? How could they not have been curious about the night sky being so lit up by a thousand angels booming out the worship songs? All of heaven was ablaze with his glory. The Bible tells us that the shepherds went and told everyone about what they had seen after they went to the baby. Did no one believe them? I mean, surely the next morning there was someone at the Bethlehem Bed and Breakfast talking about the night sky and someone else who had heard from the shepherds. Didn't they put two and two together? They were Jews!! Didn't they know any of the prophecies?? You'd think this heavenly phenomenon would have made it's way to Herod's ear. But even he didn't know.

Then, after those crazy shepherds probably stopped talking because no one believed them, along came the wise men months later. And let me tell you, there weren't just three wise men. Just because the Bible only tells us that there were three gifts (and there may have been more), that doesn't mean there were only three men. They would have been completely insane to carry such valuable gifts across the desert from the East with just three of them. They would most certainly have been robbed and killed. No, there was more likely a whole caravan of wise men plus their servants. So now, here comes 40, 50, maybe even 100 men riding into the town on camels, draped in beautiful clothes, gold and silver. They would certainly have had different skin, different eyes, different everything from the Jews. They even spoke a different language. And yet, once again, Bethlehem thought "Eh, this is an every day occurrence"?????

John 1:10-13 says:

"He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God--children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God."

There you have it. The Jews did not receive him. He came to them, and they rejected him--just like many of them are still rejecting him today. And as hard as it may be to swallow, that was God's plan all along. Right there it tells us that it is not "human decision." It's God's. No wonder they missed it. What other way could you explain their complete lack of awareness to all the prophetic things going on around them?

I do believe the Jews will have another chance. I believe that God will not forsake his people. He is the same God "yesterday, today and forever." (Hebrews 13:8) He spans time, and is not bound by our finite minds. The Jews are still his chosen ones. As Gentiles, we have been grafted into Abraham's line--of which I am very thankful!! But the Jews are in the blood line. I don't know how it will happen or when, but I believe God, in his timing, will call them back to himself.

He is a wonderful and gracious King. I'm so grateful to have been chosen to be his Princess. I can't wait to see how the rest of the story is going to play out, and I'm so excited to get to spend eternity talking about the greatest story ever told--the greatest event that's ever happened to this earth--the birth of Jesus. Heaven came down. God left his throne of glory to be wrapped in human flesh and humbled himself to become a helpless baby born in a nasty stable! All for us. All so that even the lowliest shepherd boy could know him, touch him, attain salvation from him. What an amazing thought. Only the God of the Universe could have orchestrated such a love story. And only our Holy God could love us with love that amazing.

This Christmas, I want to focus on that. I don't want to be a clueless citizen of Bethlehem who misses all the signs!! I pray that God opens my eyes to every wonderful miracle going on around me--starting with the miracle of my own precious family. Thank you, Jesus, for coming to earth. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for choosing me. I love you, Jesus!

Close Enough has to be Good Enough! I got all the kids in their Christmas pajamas last night, and I was determined to get a picture--even without Jon here! I was pretty proud of myself for getting them all together all alone. They all look great in this one except the baby wasn't looking. Oh well. In any of them that he was looking one (or more) of the others ones was doing something crazy! This happened to be the very first one I took! So I terrorized them for the next 10-15 minutes taking more for no reason!! I guess you never know! :)

Wonderful government control....once again

Surrogate mom in Canada has been kicked off Craig's list three times for trying to help parents by donating her breast milk!

This lady is trying to give something very precious--for free--to a family in need!! And the government won't let her do it! I personally know a couple of families right now who would be thrilled to take breast milk for their babies but either can't pay the price of a milk bank or wouldn't be high enough on the list to ever get it at all!

In a way, I understand the skeptics. I mean, who knows about this lady's milk, right? Well, I would certainly think that any family who was educated enough to look into getting the best nutrition for their baby would certainly be smart enough to do a thorough background check on the donor! And I'm sure the donor would be happy to accommodate! She is already being a surrogate mother--so I'm sure those parents did their homework on her! That would be somewhere to start.

I'm so tired of "higher-ups" thinking that the rest of us don't know how to think for ourselves. How could parents ever decide on their own that this lady was worthy of donating her milk to their baby?

Dear Governments, please allow people who actually want to think and use their brains, to do so!! Thank you!

The five most dreaded words....

"You have your hands full!"

It doesn't matter where I am or how the kids are acting. I could be strolling along the beach with the kids happily playing with no troubles at all, or I could be pushing a buggy through Target with a flailing three year old strapped in the seat, a crazy five year old running through the aisles and any of the others demanding a treat or acting completely indignant about not getting it. I will undoubtably hear these words on every single outing that I'm on--"You have your hands full."

Now, it's easier when the kids are being well behaved and angelic to answer back with "Yes, they are full of blessings." That's a bit harder when my children are acting like anything but! It doesn't make it less true--just a little less believable for the nosey on-lookers who have commented. And yet, it is exactly the truth!! I couldn't be more full of blessings! Biblically, every time God wanted to bless a family or even a whole nation--he promised to bless them with children. He tells us in Psalm 127 that "Children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb a reward..... blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them."

The world certainly does not understand this, nor do they see it even from our perspective. Children are seen as an annoyance. Yes, it's nice to have one or two around, but after that it's too much trouble. After that it's a little too hard to find time for yourself or take a vacation. Try finding airplane tickets for a family of eight!!

I know that many people don't mean to be offensive when this dreaded statement come out of their mouth. It's almost like they can't think of anything else to say and feel the need to say something! What I think is pretty humorous is when someone says this to me when I only have two or three kids with me. I always feel the need to quickly tell people that this is not all of them--I have six in total. I love to watch their faces. Hearing their comments is not always pleasant, but that's okay too. It is the way of our culture. And the church has bought into it hook, line and sinker.

Okay, I won't go there....not today anyway! ;)

But, yes, my hands are VERY FULL of precious blessings! And I wouldn't have it other way!

A New Blog

Yes...Just what I have time for!! A new blog!! :) But I've been contemplating it for awhile. While I have my doula blog, there are so many other things that I want to blog about sometimes! And I tried a family blog for awhile, but then there are so many other things besides that that I want to blog about!

So I thought....what are the most important roles I play? Well, first and foremost my most important role is as a Daughter of the One True King! Any other role I play has been given to me by Him so it's all inclusive. But my next most important role is my role as a wife and helpmeet to my husband of over 16 years--Jon. He's the most amazing, supportive, faithful, rock solid man I know! I've said it for years....he's the only man I can imagine myself ever being married to because we just "fit" really well!!

My next role is being a mother and teacher to the six most amazing kids I've ever known! Not one of 'em is anything but strong willed--some with stronger wills than others, though--and I wouldn't have it any other way. I know that God is going to use them mightily for His kingdom! I do believe my oldest has the capability to change the world if he ever set his mind to it!

My next role as of the last couple of years is being a doula for moms (and dads) who desire to have the best birth experiences that they can have. I love this role because I love moms, babies and birth! It seems like such a natural way for my life to turn right now.

So this is the way I came up with the name for my blog! Of course, I have many other roles in life.... daughter, sister, friend, in law, church member, teacher, etc. Plus, there are lots of things that I am constantly educating myself about--nutrition, alternative medicine, herbs, breastfeeding, birth, homeschooling, natural remedies to all sorts of things.... so I will be posting about all these things that I find! I'm looking forward to being able to put all my thoughts in one place! I will keep my doula blog for professional purposes, but plan to put all my other thoughts here! :)