Motherhood=Sacrifice

As I thought about writing this post last night, I didn't know that I would have the night ahead to be tested in it's truth!! Cama-Jane crawled in our bed a little before 3 am coughing her little head off. At that point I put Shepley (who was already in our bed) on the floor and let CJ crawl in. I filled the vaporizer, put the eucalyptus in and expected that to take care of it. Nope. I gave her a Vit C drop. Nope. I propped her up on pillows. Nope. It was at this point that Jon reminded me that he had to get up at 6 am because he and Trand went with our church to build for Habitat for Humanity this morning. So I picked her up, and we went to snuggle on the couch. This wouldn't be so bad if the stupid cat would leave us alone. But it worked. With her sitting up in my arms, she was able to sleep without coughing. About five minutes after I drifted off, the baby cried. I got up and nursed him and put him back down. Within ten minutes, I heard him again. I went in, picked him up, and he burped. He seemed to just want that. But, no, he was up again a few minutes later. I nursed him again and put him down.

*Here I will mention that every time I walk out of the Cedar's room, the cat runs in under the bed, and I have to go get him. I vow to kill him every night. Sometimes I catch him in time, but other times no. You may be wondering why we don't just shut him up at night. We used to, but then whenever I have to get up with the kids (which is every night with Cedar) he hears us and meows so loud it totally disrupts the quietness of the night, waking Cedar up even more.*

I picked CJ up off the couch and thought I could maybe go back into the room now as her coughing fit seemed to have subsided. She did fine. It was about 5:20 at this point. Finally able to sleep for about 40 minutes, I was then awakened again by the baby at 6 to get up for good. I have to admit that I put him in the pack-n-play with a few toys, turned on the TV for a little entertainment and went back to bed! It didn't last too long, but I'll take what I can get.

I'm really not complaining--just thought it fitting that this not-so-uncommon example happened right as I was going to write about this.

What prompted me to write about sacrifice was a dear friend of mine from college. Her husband is an RUF leader at a college in NC so he's away a lot of nights, leaving her alone with three young children. Now, she doesn't complain. And she knows he's doing what he needs to do. But that gets hard. So they were supposed to go to St. Louis together for a long weekend to hear Tim Keller and just be together. They were also going to be staying with another of our dear friends from college so it was going to be a great time. But I heard from her yesterday that two of her kids got sick. She was unable to go, and had to send her husband without her. No doubt she was disappointed, but she was happy for him to get to go. I love her and her commitment to her family.

That's what it means to be a mom. Sacrifice. It's the best word to describe it. It's nothing to complain about or feel sorry for ourselves about--it just is. Usually it's just the little stuff we sacrifice--sleep, meals, a clean house, time to ourselves, privacy to go to the bathroom or take a shower alone, and the list goes on. Their are countless ways we sacrifice everyday. Then come the bigger ones sometimes--missing trips with our husbands, shelving dreams of writing a book or going back to school, missing our chance at something big.

There are times when it's tempting to complain. It's tempting to ask "why me?" It's tempting to think "If we had more money, I could hire a babysitter when I needed to go do something like (you fill in the blank) does." Sacrifice is hard. It's hard to give up ourselves to someone who totally does not appreciate it or even realize that we are doing it most of the time!! But we do it over and over every day because we love them. We love them beyond measure. They are part of our very essence. We wouldn't be who we are without them. I know I wouldn't be nearly as patient or understanding if I didn't have children. And I wouldn't understand what it meant to love something so much that it hurt.

I believe in a very real way, God shows himself to us in this. None of us make the sacrifice that he did--not willingly anyway. I've often thought that, yes, there are people that I would die for. I have family and friends that I would definitely put my life on the line for. But I can tell you, there's no one that I'd sacrifice my children for. And that's exactly what God did. Not only did Jesus give his life for those who followed him and loved him, but he gave it for those who killed him--who hated him. And it wasn't just his death that was the sacrifice. His whole life was sacrifice. First of all, he left heaven in all it's glory to be wrapped in the frailty of human flesh to live among sinners. He certainly started with humble beginnings in a stable! The Bible tells us that as an adult, he never had a place to lay his head. He never had a home of his own. He spent his ministry being chased around by needy people who mostly only wanted him for his healing power. And his own disciples failed over and over to understand his love and what he was here for. But he finished his mission. He gave the ultimate sacrifice because he loved us beyond measure. Because we are part of his very essence as well.

So I consider it joy (most of the time) :) to join my Savior in sacrifice. I learn more and more everyday how to give my life to others. I get to pour all of myself into six little eternal souls and make a difference FOREVER. I get to love them and show them patience, kindness, goodness, joy, gentleness, peace, faithfulness and self-control (sometimes.) I get to be Jesus to them to help them understand him. That can be a daunting thought! Never, on my best day, could I be everything that I need to be for them. Never could I truly represent Jesus in the way that he deserves. But that's the task that's before me.

I'm not saying that moms are the only ones who sacrifice! I know that daddies do as well!! I know lots of ways that my husband sacrifices for me and our children. He does it in big and little ways too. And I appreciate them very much (most of the time.) I pray that I would learn to appreciate better.

So consider it a privilege to sacrifice, to serve your children. Because as you clothe them, feed them, show them compassion and love, you are doing it for the "least of these" so in turn, you are doing it for Jesus.