My heart is heavy this morning. I'm thinking about and praying for a cousin that I haven't seen in a very long time. In fact, when I saw I his picture on my aunt's facebook page the other day, I wouldn't have recognized him if she hadn't had his name on there! Crazy how time gets away from us. I'm praying for him today because his 18 year old son, Zach, died during the day on Saturday. I cannot fathom this. I pray that I never have to be able to. Zach's funeral is today.
What makes this even harder (if anything can) is that my cousin has been a single dad for the past 16 years. He has truly dedicated his life to being Zach's dad. He has put everything on hold in his own life for his son.... and now he's gone. I can't imagine the emptiness he's feeling. What must that feel like to pour every part of yourself into a child--molding them, shaping them, disciplining them, and loving them with every fiber of your being--only to have them abruptly vanish from your life right as they were really beginning theirs. It's an unimaginable thought. It's every parent's nightmare--and he's living it.
Zach and his dad lived with my uncle and aunt until Zach was about twelve. So they were like a second set of parents. He was their pride and joy. They are suffering immensely through this as they are trying to be strong and a support for their son while their own hearts are being ripped apart as well. My uncle is my mother's brother, and she is having a most difficult time figuring out how to be what he and my aunt need right now.
These are the hardest of human times. These times when there are no answers. There are no words. For those closest to Zach--especially his dad--there may seem to even be no reason to keep going right now. How is it possible that such tragedies occur? Nothing else matters in life when things like this happens. The economy, politics, unemployment rates, taxes, etc..... none of it matters. These are the times when families pull together and, for awhile, make a silent agreement to forget any other differences. These are the times when brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, husbands and wives (even ex-wives), and best friends are the most important people in the world, and they are irreplaceable. Somehow these people bring a little bit of divinity to our fallen humanity.
There are no answers for "why?" There never really will be until eternity. There is nothing to ease the hurt or stop the pain--for awhile at least. One day my cousin will have a life again. One day, with time, he will laugh again. He will pick up the pieces and go on. I hope he will even get married again and maybe even have more children. They will never replace Zach. Nothing could ever replace the hours, days and years he spent doing his best, doing what he thought was right for his son.
Our only hope is Jesus. My greatest desire above all else is to see my children come to Jesus--to see them place their lives and hearts in His hands. I desire this even above their own life. Because this life is fleeting. It may last 70 or 80 years or longer. Or it may only last 18 or less. But in any situation it is short in comparison to eternity. I want to make sure that I am spending eternity with my children, and that their eternity is with Jesus. I pray this for all of my family, friends and even the world. What the world needs is Jesus.
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