The other day I wrote a blog about our first day of school and how hard it was. Now, I'm not going to go back and say it wasn't. It certainly was. Fitting everyone into their right place and keeping a schedule and trying to find a place in the schedule to parent my 1 and 4 year old during the day while still making sure my school age kids are getting what they need--those are hard things. But just as I was beginning to think that I had it pretty hard, I had a conversation with a friend last night.
This is a lady that I don't talk to a lot just because she doesn't seem to be around a lot. She goes to our church, but I still don't see a lot of her. I found out last night that their family only has one car, and she only gets it twice a week so that may be a big reason why. She also home schools, and she also has six kids. One big difference is that she has four year old twins and one of them is autistic. I've talked with her before about it. She believes it was the vaccinations that put him over the edge. She believes, like I do, that these children have susceptible immune systems that are different that other kids. But how do you know who does until they have the symptoms AFTER the fact? But, this isn't a post about vaccines. She was talking to me about how hard it was to school her other children when she has to give so much time to her special needs child.
She doesn't want to put him in school--and I don't blame her. She knows that the one on one attention he gets at home is way better than he could ever get in a "special ed" class. And yet she's wondering if her other kids are suffering. She says that she thinks her oldest has Asperger's, although he's never been diagnosed. She's studied enough and seen enough that I think she's able to recognize the symptoms. So she told me last night, "I live my days on the 'spectrum.'" (If you don't know what this means, it means the 'spectrum' of autism--from slightly showing symptoms of Asperger's and mild autism to being extremely autistic.)
Her four year old is doing great! He is flourishing in their family with the love and attention he gets. He also gets love and attention at church. He's talking more, writing his letters, etc. His mom is doing a great job doing exactly what he needs. She's following the no gluten/no casein diet, and it's helping. But she's still dealing with autism every day. She's dealing with that while she's trying to teach five other children the work that they need to do. Now, she's got good kids, but they are still kids.
This humbled me. Here I was thinking how hard I had it. I have no idea what it's like to have a special needs child. I have no idea what it's like to have six kids and only one car! I have no idea what it's like to walk in her shoes for one day. But talking with her last night really made me realize that my life is a bowl of cherries compared to some of the things she goes through. Now, I'm sure she wouldn't trade her life for the world. Of course she adores her little boy and would move heaven and earth for him. But she's tired. It's hard. I admire her and resolve to stand up against the world (and family and friends) when they tell her she should put him in school. I admire her hard work and tenacity. I hope to get to be better friends with her and give her a place to talk and vent. I know I would need it if I were her.
God has a way of showing us that things aren't nearly as bad as we may think! I thank God for my six healthy children, my crazy fast paced life and all the things that go with it. It could change any day, but I'm enjoying the ride while it's here.
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