But I've been thinking lately about what it's like to nurse an older baby in public. I've nursed my last four babies way beyond a year and up to two years. But after they start eating solid food, there usually isn't a huge need to nurse them when you aren't at home just because it's easier a lot of time to give them food when they are hungry. Now, there are times when it's more necessary.... when they are tired, hurt, whatever. But in general, I've personally found it easier just to nurse them at home and give them something easy to satisfy them when we are out.
The reasons for this are many. One reason is that older babies are more likely to "pop off" for no reason or without notice! :) Any sudden sound or noise or someone who comes up and talks usually peaks their curiosity. They need to look around to see what this new noise is--usually leaving you exposed for a second or two until you can get covered. While this doesn't really bother me, I am aware that there are others around that may take issue and (contrary to popular belief) I do like to be sensitive to their feelings! Another reason is because even if you do use a cover when babies are small, by the time they are older they are usually not as happy to be under that cover while nursing. Older babies (mine anyway) also tend to move around a lot. Mine seem to get up on their feet and dance around while still continuing to nurse. It's truly amazing that they can do this. But they do!! It's quite hard to control when you're out in public.
So in saying all that, my reasoning for writing this is because with Cedar I've found myself having to nurse him as an older baby out in public way more than my others. He will be a year on the 29th, and he's a big baby anyway so people tend to notice, make comments, etc. The reason that I find that I need to nurse him more is that he's gluten free. If I don't have a snack already prepared (which I usually don't because I'm not that organized) then I can't just give him crackers from the salad bar or goldfish from the nursery. I can't break little pieces of bread to appease him before his meal (usually consisting of fruit, chicken salad, beans or a baked potato depending on where we are dining--since we usually frequent the same places.) So I end up nursing him to keep him happy. I have noticed many more looks and stares in the last couple of months.
Even though I don't use a cover (because I think it screams "I'm nursing a baby under here") I'm very discreet. I have many people come all the way up and say "Oh, do you have a sleeping baby?" As long as he's still, that is! When he decides to do his "nursing dance" there's not a lot I can do about it. I still make sure I'm covered, but I just do my best to keep his dancing to a minimum.
But even with all of this, I've found people's comments interesting. I haven't had anyone say anything negative--mainly because I haven't had any comments from anyone I didn't know. I've certainly had looks from people I didn't know, but not comments. But the comments have mainly come at church and most of them in the nursery. Ha! I've been amused by how many people ask, "Um, exactly how old is he?" :) It does make me laugh. This is usually from women in their 50's or 60's. I think many of them didn't nurse because that was the big formula push in America. So I've found that some of them seem a little uncomfortable with nursing all together. So when you throw in the whole idea of nursing a baby who actually has teeth and can walk (oh the horrors) it just wigs them out! Like I said, if they don't see me start to nurse in the first place, they usually don't know what I'm doing. So they come up and see if he's asleep. Usually when they talk is when he does his whole "popping off" thing, and they kind of freak out. It's actually rather amusing. So that's when the question inevitably comes, "How old is he?" It's like they've heard of people out there nursing their babies beyond 6 months, but they didn't know that they actually knew someone who did it! :)
Thankfully, another friend of mine at church is still nursing her almost 13 month old as well. This is also her 6th child so we are just plain weird together!! :) One day we were in the nursery together nursing, and the volunteer who was in there was just kind of overwhelmed. I didn't really notice it at first, but then she asked the question, "Exactly how old are they?" I felt like giggling. That was when he was only 10 months and she was 11 months, but it was still quite the big deal.
I'm trying to do my part to normalize nursing older babies/toddlers for a year and beyond. The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends nursing for 2 years and then beyond that for whatever time is mutually enjoyable for mother and baby. This just means that as long as mommy and baby are both happy with the situation--go for it! The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has always recommended nursing "at least" one year and has recently changed their stance to two years. When you look at the amazing health benefits of breast milk, you really can't argue with it. It's physically and emotionally healthy for babies and their mommies. And I think that normalizing 'nursing in public' makes it easier for women to continue the breastfeeding relationship which is so important between mommy and baby. Personally, I wouldn't trade it for the world.
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