It's been awhile since I've been on here. Every now and then something crosses my mind to write about, but by the time I sit down and have the time to do it, it's either gone or not important anymore! Nothing much has changed about the fact that we are moving. But the circumstances surrounding that seem to change every day. I guess that's why I haven't been good about keeping this "up to date." Because as soon as plans are made, they change.
As of now, the kids and I are still in Naples. We were supposed to be moved last weekend. We were supposed to be in a rental house in Newport, TN at the bottom of the Smokies with a great yard and an amazing view. As wonderful as that was, it was temporary and we didn't know much beyond that. God took care of us in a great way!! He provided a way for us to get a loan to buy a home in Knoxville--which is where we really wanted to be. The country home would have been great. Quiet, spacious, lovely.....but we were both very disappointed at our church options in Newport. It's very important to both of us to have a close-knit, growing, living church family. As the body of Christ, we want to be a part of one that is making a difference and living out our commission. We visited a growing and thriving church in downtown Knoxville when we visited in Sept. Finding out that we weren't going to be able to buy a house and live in Knoxville (because there were no rentals available for what we needed) was disappointing to say the least. We prayed and enlisted the children's prayers as well! They have taught me so much through all of this. They are so faithful to take everything before the throne of God and just ask with a childlike faith. They aren't surprised when he answers big (like I am.) I'm so blessed to have them teach me every day!!
So now I've been here for five weeks with six kids and no husband. I've always thought single parents were the most admirable people out there--selfless and giving. Now I don't even know how you do it--day in and day out. Since we home school, the days seem pretty monotonous sometimes with no changes and nothing to break up the time. Thankfully, my oldest can babysit so I've taken a few times to get away by myself or with a friend. But it's the night times that are hard. I never have an empty bed--for sure!! :) But I miss him most then. I went to get a massage today, and it was blissful! I never do stuff like that, but Wednesday night driving home from church I really started noticing my back and shoulders and how "tingly" and stiff they were. This always happens when I'm nursing so I'm pretty used to it! :) But it gave me the idea to call a friend who is a masseuse and ask her about an appointment. One of my best friends was going with me (whose husband has also been out of town because they are moving as well) but God provided a different surprise for her!! Her husband surprised her by coming home this weekend! So I ended up going alone. I enjoyed a quiet 90 minutes of restfulness!
So the plan was for us to leave next Thursday (Oct. 20), stay in Perry with my parents for a couple of weeks and then go to TN to stay in a hotel or extended stay place until our house was ready for closing. Oh yeah, I forgot that part. We did end up buying a house--one that I've never seen except through pictures. Yes, I have lots of trust in my husband's judgement and taste (he's really good at that kind of stuff.) But I also realize that it's just a house--a place to put our stuff (that we have too much of) and lay our heads at night. It's not ours'--nothing is. It's a material possession. Therefore I can give that up too. God has worked out everything so perfectly and miraculously. I have to trust that He has given us the perfect house for our needs as well.
Our closing date is scheduled for Nov. 14. Jon was not really liking the idea of us all being in a hotel for two weeks, but we were both ready to live together again as husband and wife!! So last night a friend suggested that we check into a vacation rental. After all, we are moving to the vacation place of the south!! So I sent out some inquiries last night, and it looks like we have a house in the Smokies for the first three weeks of Nov. It gives us a week to get the closing done, our stuff moved in the house and time to settle in easily before we go my grandparents for Thanksgiving! The kids are thrilled! We went to Gatlinburg last year, and they still talk about it. Can't wait to home school in the fall in the Smokies with a fire in the fireplace, crispness in the air, fall leaves all around. It will be a whole new world for my kids--new surroundings and new experiences. I'm so excited!! The hardest part, though, will be actually getting the kids to do some school work instead of just playing all the time. But God is teaching us so much this year--sometimes life is just as much of a teaching lesson than anything else.
So that's our plan for now--leave Naples on the 20th, spend 1 1/2 weeks with my parents, then head to the Smokies for three weeks in Pigeon Forge. Then we'll head to Winder, GA for Thanksgiving--something we haven't done in 8 years (had a cool Thanksgiving!) and then finally back to our new home to hopefully be out of boxes by Christmas!! Yeah, right!! My mom is laughing right now. She knows it takes me about two years to get completely out of boxes!! :)
So life is hectic. I must say my heart is filled with dread when I think about the week looming ahead of me. Yes, we will have packers, but I must be organized first. Organization is not one of my strong points. I am also a major procrastinator and I don't even seem to SEE the stuff that needs to be done until it's eminent. So therefore.... I know what lies ahead, and it's not a pretty picture!! I'm afraid the packers will come Monday and tell me they "can't work like this." :)
I could use your prayers. Jon won't be flying in until Thursday morning so I'm alone in this. I've pretty much got the kids scattered to different places throughout the week, but I'll have a couple here with me most of the time as well. They have been so busy this past week they haven't had time to be sad. I know it will hit them soon though.
Tomorrow is our last time at church as members of Covenant Church of Naples. That thought sobers me and is probably the hardest part of leaving Naples. I don't know if I will cry or not. I don't really cry that much. But one thing is sure--part of my heart will be left here forever, and it will be planted there in the body of Christ--with those people whom I've gone through struggles with, prayed with, given and received meals and gifts and love to/from at times of rejoicing and hardships. I'm so thankful to have lived here for 11 years and especially for the last 3--where our church has come together as a true light and shining beacon for God.
I know God has plans for us wherever we go (Jer. 29:11), and I can't wait to see just how those unfold in the tapestry of our lives....
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Changes
For months our life has seemed to be an endless series of unknowns. I haven't felt like I could make a decision about the future in almost a year now. Obviously, I've done it. I've tried as well as I could to live in the present and leave the uncertainty of our future to my heavenly Father. Because, after all, no one's future is ever certain. He is the only one who holds time in his hands. But most of us can plan to put our little girls in ballet for the fall or feel good about paying for another month of karate or take our children to try out for the holiday musical in town.... or whatever. Most years there hasn't been a question of whether I should enroll my children in a home school class that they wanted (or I wanted them) to take. But these uncertainties and more have been in the forefront of my mind now for many months.
I've been a bit cryptic in my posts (the few that I've written) this summer. I have talked more to my friends in person in the last few weeks than my sweet husband was really thrilled about. If it were up to him, he would just have me be as closed mouthed as he is about our personal life. But, thankfully, he knew before he married me that I was NOTHING like him when it came to "closing my mouth!" :) He knows I need to talk--actually spill my guts--to those close to me. And there are a lot that I consider close to me!! So in the last few weeks, most everyone that I know in Naples has become aware of the fact that Jon was interviewing for a CFO position in Knoxville, TN.
He's known about the position opening up for a few months now. The hospital system that he works for, HMA, is acquiring several hospitals in the Knoxville area. He told me the other day that he has felt called by God to go there from the time he heard about it. He's felt drawn there--to the mountains, to the trails, to the changing seasons. He's had trails along the Appalachians mapped out for months where he wants to take the boys for weekend outings. We've both wanted to get back to the "south" for quite some time now so this seemed like the perfect opportunity.
All we needed was for him to get through the interview and get chosen!! :) He knew he wanted to be there, felt called to be there, but it was up to God to work out the details if that's where he really wanted us. That's when it is so good to feel right in the middle of God's plan and sovereign work in our lives. As disappointed as we knew we would be if he didn't get the job, we had no doubt that we would be right where God wanted us. Jon consistently prayed that God would take us where he could use us, where we would bring him the most glory. Every time he prayed it, I knew he meant it, but I also knew that it was going to tear him up if he didn't get it. I trusted God's perfect will, but I braced myself for my husband's disappointment if it didn't happen. I knew I would need to be his anchor for awhile.
Although having six children has taught me much more patience than I had when I only had one child, long suffering has never been a huge strong point with me. So waiting has been an arduous task this summer. God has seemed to not want me to make any plans....just leave them all with him. So that's what I've done. I've waited.....and waited.....until Jon finally had the interview a couple of weeks ago.
Since then I've waited....and waited some more to hear the news!! We found out on Monday that Jon did get the job!! We are moving to Knoxville!! I haven't been able to tell anyone until tonight so I've been about to burst!!
Jon told the kids tonight so there is a huge range of emotions going on around here. :) They have prayed for weeks for daddy to get the "job." Even though they knew the job was in Knoxville, it was a little overwhelming to actually learn that we are really moving away from the only home they've ever known. They are excited about moving to the mountains--and about the possibility of SNOW, but their minds wander back to their precious friends that they are going to miss so much. They think of their grandparents here that they've always just been able to pop over and see or meet up with for Sunday lunch or whatever. They think of their brand new baby cousin due at the beginning of Oct. They've waited forever to live in the same town as a cousin, and now they still won't! They think of their church family and how loved and at home they feel there. It's hard stuff!
God is going to grow them. God is going to grow me. We are all going to grow through all of this. It's a daunting task to think about picking up and moving 8 people 14 hours away in a month!! But I know my God can do it. He's pretty awesome, and he shows me this time and time again!! I will miss my friends, my church, my family, my home schooling community, my chiropractor and my hair dresser!! You may laugh, but those last two things have been high on my priority list of people I'll miss!!!
So begins a new chapter of our lives. Here we are, moving to Tennessee. I'm happy that my husband is happy. I'm happy that he feels fulfilled in his role as our provider. And as always, I'm happy that I will always be with him--wherever he goes, whatever life brings us--we'll do it together.
We'll be leaving Naples a much bigger family than when we came 11 years ago. We came as a family of three longing for more children--wondering if we'd ever have any more. Yes, Naples has been a wonderful time of our lives. God has blessed us here in many ways, and I'm excited to see what the next chapter holds.
I've been a bit cryptic in my posts (the few that I've written) this summer. I have talked more to my friends in person in the last few weeks than my sweet husband was really thrilled about. If it were up to him, he would just have me be as closed mouthed as he is about our personal life. But, thankfully, he knew before he married me that I was NOTHING like him when it came to "closing my mouth!" :) He knows I need to talk--actually spill my guts--to those close to me. And there are a lot that I consider close to me!! So in the last few weeks, most everyone that I know in Naples has become aware of the fact that Jon was interviewing for a CFO position in Knoxville, TN.
He's known about the position opening up for a few months now. The hospital system that he works for, HMA, is acquiring several hospitals in the Knoxville area. He told me the other day that he has felt called by God to go there from the time he heard about it. He's felt drawn there--to the mountains, to the trails, to the changing seasons. He's had trails along the Appalachians mapped out for months where he wants to take the boys for weekend outings. We've both wanted to get back to the "south" for quite some time now so this seemed like the perfect opportunity.
All we needed was for him to get through the interview and get chosen!! :) He knew he wanted to be there, felt called to be there, but it was up to God to work out the details if that's where he really wanted us. That's when it is so good to feel right in the middle of God's plan and sovereign work in our lives. As disappointed as we knew we would be if he didn't get the job, we had no doubt that we would be right where God wanted us. Jon consistently prayed that God would take us where he could use us, where we would bring him the most glory. Every time he prayed it, I knew he meant it, but I also knew that it was going to tear him up if he didn't get it. I trusted God's perfect will, but I braced myself for my husband's disappointment if it didn't happen. I knew I would need to be his anchor for awhile.
Although having six children has taught me much more patience than I had when I only had one child, long suffering has never been a huge strong point with me. So waiting has been an arduous task this summer. God has seemed to not want me to make any plans....just leave them all with him. So that's what I've done. I've waited.....and waited.....until Jon finally had the interview a couple of weeks ago.
Since then I've waited....and waited some more to hear the news!! We found out on Monday that Jon did get the job!! We are moving to Knoxville!! I haven't been able to tell anyone until tonight so I've been about to burst!!
Jon told the kids tonight so there is a huge range of emotions going on around here. :) They have prayed for weeks for daddy to get the "job." Even though they knew the job was in Knoxville, it was a little overwhelming to actually learn that we are really moving away from the only home they've ever known. They are excited about moving to the mountains--and about the possibility of SNOW, but their minds wander back to their precious friends that they are going to miss so much. They think of their grandparents here that they've always just been able to pop over and see or meet up with for Sunday lunch or whatever. They think of their brand new baby cousin due at the beginning of Oct. They've waited forever to live in the same town as a cousin, and now they still won't! They think of their church family and how loved and at home they feel there. It's hard stuff!
God is going to grow them. God is going to grow me. We are all going to grow through all of this. It's a daunting task to think about picking up and moving 8 people 14 hours away in a month!! But I know my God can do it. He's pretty awesome, and he shows me this time and time again!! I will miss my friends, my church, my family, my home schooling community, my chiropractor and my hair dresser!! You may laugh, but those last two things have been high on my priority list of people I'll miss!!!
So begins a new chapter of our lives. Here we are, moving to Tennessee. I'm happy that my husband is happy. I'm happy that he feels fulfilled in his role as our provider. And as always, I'm happy that I will always be with him--wherever he goes, whatever life brings us--we'll do it together.
We'll be leaving Naples a much bigger family than when we came 11 years ago. We came as a family of three longing for more children--wondering if we'd ever have any more. Yes, Naples has been a wonderful time of our lives. God has blessed us here in many ways, and I'm excited to see what the next chapter holds.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
For Better or for Worse
*I started this yesterday but didn't finish until now.... six kids, that's my excuse!!
Today is my anniversary.
17 years ago today I married the man of my dreams. I mean that with all of my heart. If I could have taken all that I wanted/dreamed about in a husband and stuffed it inside a flesh and blood body, I couldn't have made a more perfect model of exactly what I thought I wanted!! ;) He was exactly what I asked for, dreamed of, talked about. Sometimes God does have a sense of humor, doesn't he? :) I remember sitting on my friend's bed in college and both of us pouring out our hearts to describe the perfect guy for us. Jon fit my mold--and he still does! (Only one slight issue--I was the one who changed!!) :) I don't mean that he's not still perfect for me. He is! But God has definitely had to remind me a few times through the years that those things that might sometimes drive me crazy now are the exact things I wanted in the beginning. Ah, the irony!
In the beginning..... he was mysterious. Really. Not many people really knew Jon. There are not many people still who really know Jon! He was definitely the strong, silent type (check #1 off my list.) He seemed serious and guarded. He also seemed a little bit dangerous (check #2 off my list.) He took big risks and liked adventure. When he played, he played hard. When he worked, he worked hard. He was competitive and goal oriented. He knew what he wanted and what he needed to do to get it. He didn't let much get in his way...... except me.
I knew from the beginning that he was falling for me. He never flirted or really gave too many girls the time of day. But he tried to flirt with me. (Yes, notice I said tried.) I don't mean to make fun of him, but flirting is not one of his strong suits, and he will totally admit that!! :) But he noticed me, and he tried to show me that. I felt pursued by him (check #3 off my list.) After a while I knew that he would change every plan he had ever made for me. I knew that I was one of the only people who had ever penetrated that tough exterior to see the real him. I knew the real him--something that only a handful of people did. That made me love him all the more.
He was solid. He was stable. (check #4 off) He was not emotional. (check #5 off) Yes, that's right. I wanted a guy who wasn't emotional or too sensitive. :) And my sweetheart fit the description!! :) I love him, oh how I love him, but I did realize later that maybe just maybe, he could stand to be a bit more sensitive! Ha! :) That's what I meant about he didn't change--I did!! But this was a guy with his head on straight. This was a guy who was faithful, loyal, trusted in Christ, and was a steady rock for me. I knew this was a guy that I could submit to in marriage. I knew he would always take care of me and always listen to me--and then I could trust that he would ultimately make decisions in our family for all of our good. I knew I could marry him and give him my entire heart and trust that "for better or for worse" he would stay. He would love me. He was committed to me--forever.
I can't tell you how many times I have been thankful for that. I can't tell you how many times I have looked out the window as he's driving up the driveway, coming home from work, and with tears in my eyes thought *he's still coming home to me.* I remember thinking on the day we got married how amazing it was that wherever we ended up, no matter where we moved or went, it didn't matter at all because all that was important was that I got to live every day for the rest of my life with him. And I still think that! I really don't care where we go--as long as it's with him.
He is my "earthly" rock. He keeps me grounded. He is steady and stable, and I trust him with everything that I am and have. I have no trouble submitting everything to him, listening to him, and yes, even obeying him. We said it in our vows!! I know it's not PC to have "love and obey" in your vows anymore, but I'm so glad we did. It's biblical, and it works!! He is my head. I am his helpmeet. I have no trouble with this. Thankfully, I had a wonderful role model in my own mother growing up to see this in action and know it works. I was very blessed, and I'm am very thankful. I hope my children are able to see it in our marriage as well.
I've never felt run over by him. If you know me, you know there's not too many people that could run over me! :) He's never used me or taken advantage of me. He's never made me feel like a doormat or that my opinion didn't matter. He's always listened to me and he's always supported my dreams and endeavors 100%. I think that's what makes us work. We both seek to fill our roles in marriage biblically. Imagine that!! God's ideas work! :) No, we aren't perfect at it!! Not even close. There are plenty of times that our flesh gets in the way. Our children can certainly attest to that, I'm sure. But when we mess up, we once again go back to our life source--Jesus. He's the only one who can repair the damage and get us back where we need to be.
But that's when the "commitment" part comes in. That's what marriage is. It's not just "We'll do this while we still feel in love with each other." While it's hard to believe in the beginning that you aren't going to be head over heels for the rest of your life, that time eventually comes when you realize, "Hmmm, he's not very lovable today" or "I just don't really feel like loving him today" or whatever.... Life happens. You get busy. You forget to take the time to nurture your relationship. But even if you do all the right things, there's no way anyone can ever feel like that forever. It just doesn't happen. That's when the commitment has to mean something. We said vows. We made those vows before God and witnesses, and we promised that we would stay together "til death do us part." We meant it. There are no other choices. I am my beloved's and he is mine--forever. There is real security in that. There is real security in knowing that he takes those vows just as seriously as I do. And there's real security for my children in that as well. They know and have no doubt that their Daddy is always going to be coming home at the end of the day. They may not love having their older brother babysit them a couple of times a month for us to go out, but I think one day they will be so glad that we did that! :)
I'm not an expert on marriage. I do not claim to be!! I can just tell you what's worked for us. We've prayed together, read God's word together and committed to the biblical model for marriage. I'm so thankful for this security in my life. I'm thankful for 17 years, and I'm thankful for the years ahead that I look forward to "for better or for worse--til death do us part."
Today is my anniversary.
17 years ago today I married the man of my dreams. I mean that with all of my heart. If I could have taken all that I wanted/dreamed about in a husband and stuffed it inside a flesh and blood body, I couldn't have made a more perfect model of exactly what I thought I wanted!! ;) He was exactly what I asked for, dreamed of, talked about. Sometimes God does have a sense of humor, doesn't he? :) I remember sitting on my friend's bed in college and both of us pouring out our hearts to describe the perfect guy for us. Jon fit my mold--and he still does! (Only one slight issue--I was the one who changed!!) :) I don't mean that he's not still perfect for me. He is! But God has definitely had to remind me a few times through the years that those things that might sometimes drive me crazy now are the exact things I wanted in the beginning. Ah, the irony!
In the beginning..... he was mysterious. Really. Not many people really knew Jon. There are not many people still who really know Jon! He was definitely the strong, silent type (check #1 off my list.) He seemed serious and guarded. He also seemed a little bit dangerous (check #2 off my list.) He took big risks and liked adventure. When he played, he played hard. When he worked, he worked hard. He was competitive and goal oriented. He knew what he wanted and what he needed to do to get it. He didn't let much get in his way...... except me.
I knew from the beginning that he was falling for me. He never flirted or really gave too many girls the time of day. But he tried to flirt with me. (Yes, notice I said tried.) I don't mean to make fun of him, but flirting is not one of his strong suits, and he will totally admit that!! :) But he noticed me, and he tried to show me that. I felt pursued by him (check #3 off my list.) After a while I knew that he would change every plan he had ever made for me. I knew that I was one of the only people who had ever penetrated that tough exterior to see the real him. I knew the real him--something that only a handful of people did. That made me love him all the more.
He was solid. He was stable. (check #4 off) He was not emotional. (check #5 off) Yes, that's right. I wanted a guy who wasn't emotional or too sensitive. :) And my sweetheart fit the description!! :) I love him, oh how I love him, but I did realize later that maybe just maybe, he could stand to be a bit more sensitive! Ha! :) That's what I meant about he didn't change--I did!! But this was a guy with his head on straight. This was a guy who was faithful, loyal, trusted in Christ, and was a steady rock for me. I knew this was a guy that I could submit to in marriage. I knew he would always take care of me and always listen to me--and then I could trust that he would ultimately make decisions in our family for all of our good. I knew I could marry him and give him my entire heart and trust that "for better or for worse" he would stay. He would love me. He was committed to me--forever.
I can't tell you how many times I have been thankful for that. I can't tell you how many times I have looked out the window as he's driving up the driveway, coming home from work, and with tears in my eyes thought *he's still coming home to me.* I remember thinking on the day we got married how amazing it was that wherever we ended up, no matter where we moved or went, it didn't matter at all because all that was important was that I got to live every day for the rest of my life with him. And I still think that! I really don't care where we go--as long as it's with him.
He is my "earthly" rock. He keeps me grounded. He is steady and stable, and I trust him with everything that I am and have. I have no trouble submitting everything to him, listening to him, and yes, even obeying him. We said it in our vows!! I know it's not PC to have "love and obey" in your vows anymore, but I'm so glad we did. It's biblical, and it works!! He is my head. I am his helpmeet. I have no trouble with this. Thankfully, I had a wonderful role model in my own mother growing up to see this in action and know it works. I was very blessed, and I'm am very thankful. I hope my children are able to see it in our marriage as well.
I've never felt run over by him. If you know me, you know there's not too many people that could run over me! :) He's never used me or taken advantage of me. He's never made me feel like a doormat or that my opinion didn't matter. He's always listened to me and he's always supported my dreams and endeavors 100%. I think that's what makes us work. We both seek to fill our roles in marriage biblically. Imagine that!! God's ideas work! :) No, we aren't perfect at it!! Not even close. There are plenty of times that our flesh gets in the way. Our children can certainly attest to that, I'm sure. But when we mess up, we once again go back to our life source--Jesus. He's the only one who can repair the damage and get us back where we need to be.
But that's when the "commitment" part comes in. That's what marriage is. It's not just "We'll do this while we still feel in love with each other." While it's hard to believe in the beginning that you aren't going to be head over heels for the rest of your life, that time eventually comes when you realize, "Hmmm, he's not very lovable today" or "I just don't really feel like loving him today" or whatever.... Life happens. You get busy. You forget to take the time to nurture your relationship. But even if you do all the right things, there's no way anyone can ever feel like that forever. It just doesn't happen. That's when the commitment has to mean something. We said vows. We made those vows before God and witnesses, and we promised that we would stay together "til death do us part." We meant it. There are no other choices. I am my beloved's and he is mine--forever. There is real security in that. There is real security in knowing that he takes those vows just as seriously as I do. And there's real security for my children in that as well. They know and have no doubt that their Daddy is always going to be coming home at the end of the day. They may not love having their older brother babysit them a couple of times a month for us to go out, but I think one day they will be so glad that we did that! :)
I'm not an expert on marriage. I do not claim to be!! I can just tell you what's worked for us. We've prayed together, read God's word together and committed to the biblical model for marriage. I'm so thankful for this security in my life. I'm thankful for 17 years, and I'm thankful for the years ahead that I look forward to "for better or for worse--til death do us part."
Monday, May 16, 2011
Making Choices
I decided to write this today because it's been on my mind. Lately I've become aware (especially through Facebook) that so many people that I know (and have known in the past) are affected by the not-so-great choices that they made earlier in their lives. Usually these choices were made right out of high school or college or maybe into their 20's. Maybe sometimes these choices were more recent. But the people that I am talking about are people who are really trying to live for Christ now. I can see it in the lives or in their posts. I can see it in the things they talk about and dwell on. I can see it in how they want to raise their children and the relationships that they want to have. But no matter how much they desire to live by God's design right now, those choices are still haunting them.
I believe with all my heart that if we are faithful to God, he will redeem our choices--even the bad ones. Romans 8:28 tells us that "All things work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose." That means that even those bad choices will work for our good, but that doesn't mean that the consequences will go away. Sometimes we may have to live with those consequences for the rest of our lives. This is so sad to me!
Choices like drinking/drugs, marrying the wrong guy/girl and ending up divorced (especially with children), affairs, abortion or maybe even just the "wrong" friends have a huge impact on us and everyone involved in our lives. I hurt for these people who truly have a heart for God now, and yet they continue to live with consequences of the choices they made before their heart was turned to him.
I'm not saying I made all the right choices. I definitely made some not-so-great choices myself--especially in high school. I am eternally grateful that God has redeemed those choices as well. I am ever so thankful as well that he directed my path to Covenant College. I believe that my life would be much different right now if he hadn't. I know that some Christians can attend a secular school and be fine. My brother did that. He graduated from the University of GA and did fine. He went to RUF and did great. He was just that kind of kid! But not me. I truly believe that if I had attended a secular college, I would not have been strong enough spiritually at the time to stand up against the pressure and make the right choices. I was a believer--no doubt. I have no question that if I had died right after high school, I would have spent eternity in heaven. But I was 17. I was immature. And I loved having fun! :) I still love having fun, but have grown up a little since then and realize that I have many more little lives that I am responsible for these days that will be directly impacted by my choices. I also don't find a lot of the same things to be "fun" anymore! :) But suffice it to say, I believe that God saved me from a lot of heartache by directing me to Covenant.
I have often thought about my choice to attend Covenant. There's really no answer as to "why" I went. People (especially during college) have asked me over the years why I went there. My real answer is "I don't know--only by the Lord's direction." I knew no one there. I had only known a couple of people who had gone there but not very well and not really people who influenced my life at all. Crazy. I was in the PCA, but besides that had no connection to Covenant. And yet, somehow, it was the only college to which I ever even applied! I got early acceptance at the end of my Jr. year of high school, and that was that. It was settled. I knew that my parents would be happy with me going to a Christian college, and I guess that's one place that my "first born-ness" must have kicked in!
And that is where the right choice made such a HUGE difference in my life. Covenant is where I made the best friends of my life. The four girls who still challenge me (almost on a daily basis even 16 years after graduation) to live my life as a wife, mother, friend, and Christian for Jesus. This has impacted me more than I can ever say. Covenant is where I learned what a Christian worldview really meant. It's where I learned to live my faith and make it mine. I learned that it's okay to question--as long as you're willing to look deep for the answers. I learned a lot of things and matured a lot.
But the most important way that Covenant changed my life is that I met my husband there. Together we changed. Together we were challenged to look at what our life would be like. Yes, we were young and in love and couldn't imagine ever not being "in love" and actually having to work at making a marriage work. But unlike so many others, we were told that it would happen. We were aware that one day, we may not feel like staying together or loving each other--but that's what commitment was all about. And the most important of all--we were equally yoked. Through all of our immaturity at 20 and 22 years of age when we said "I do," we both knew that was the most important thing. We served and worshipped the same God, and even though that may have looked different in each of our lives, we knew how important it was.
Okay, this isn't a post on marriage. But that's definitely one of the best choices I ever made--to marry a strong, faithful man who is dedicated to his God and family and will always work hard to take care of us.
Yes, I've made wrong choices even after marriage and children. I'm sure I always will. But the big choices that I have made have brought me to where I am today. I have no doubt that it has been God's leading to bring me to make any choices that have been the "right" ones. I believe that through infertility he showed me how to live daily in his presence. I believe that through hard times he teaches us more than we could ever learn through easy times. And when we bring those choices to him and place them in his hands, he will lead us in the right direction to make the right choices--choices that will bring him glory and honor and will, in turn, bring joy to our lives and those around us.
And why did I make any of the "right" choices that I made? I guess when I ponder this, I'd have to say it was prayer. Not my prayer--mind you. Yes, I prayed. But at 16 and 17 I can tell you that I wasn't on my knees daily giving all my choices to God. I believe it was through the faithful praying of my parents and my Grandma and others in our church family who committed to pray for me. That is why I am so thankful that my children having praying grandparents and even great-grandparents. They have parents who daily lift them up and lay them before the throne. Prayer is such a powerful weapon that we so often forget.
So I would encourage you to pray for your kids. Even if you messed up with lots of bad choices and are still reaping the consequences of those choices today, bathe your children in prayer. Maybe your prayers can keep them from making the same ones! Bring your little ones to him--that's exactly where he wants them!
I believe with all my heart that if we are faithful to God, he will redeem our choices--even the bad ones. Romans 8:28 tells us that "All things work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose." That means that even those bad choices will work for our good, but that doesn't mean that the consequences will go away. Sometimes we may have to live with those consequences for the rest of our lives. This is so sad to me!
Choices like drinking/drugs, marrying the wrong guy/girl and ending up divorced (especially with children), affairs, abortion or maybe even just the "wrong" friends have a huge impact on us and everyone involved in our lives. I hurt for these people who truly have a heart for God now, and yet they continue to live with consequences of the choices they made before their heart was turned to him.
I'm not saying I made all the right choices. I definitely made some not-so-great choices myself--especially in high school. I am eternally grateful that God has redeemed those choices as well. I am ever so thankful as well that he directed my path to Covenant College. I believe that my life would be much different right now if he hadn't. I know that some Christians can attend a secular school and be fine. My brother did that. He graduated from the University of GA and did fine. He went to RUF and did great. He was just that kind of kid! But not me. I truly believe that if I had attended a secular college, I would not have been strong enough spiritually at the time to stand up against the pressure and make the right choices. I was a believer--no doubt. I have no question that if I had died right after high school, I would have spent eternity in heaven. But I was 17. I was immature. And I loved having fun! :) I still love having fun, but have grown up a little since then and realize that I have many more little lives that I am responsible for these days that will be directly impacted by my choices. I also don't find a lot of the same things to be "fun" anymore! :) But suffice it to say, I believe that God saved me from a lot of heartache by directing me to Covenant.
I have often thought about my choice to attend Covenant. There's really no answer as to "why" I went. People (especially during college) have asked me over the years why I went there. My real answer is "I don't know--only by the Lord's direction." I knew no one there. I had only known a couple of people who had gone there but not very well and not really people who influenced my life at all. Crazy. I was in the PCA, but besides that had no connection to Covenant. And yet, somehow, it was the only college to which I ever even applied! I got early acceptance at the end of my Jr. year of high school, and that was that. It was settled. I knew that my parents would be happy with me going to a Christian college, and I guess that's one place that my "first born-ness" must have kicked in!
And that is where the right choice made such a HUGE difference in my life. Covenant is where I made the best friends of my life. The four girls who still challenge me (almost on a daily basis even 16 years after graduation) to live my life as a wife, mother, friend, and Christian for Jesus. This has impacted me more than I can ever say. Covenant is where I learned what a Christian worldview really meant. It's where I learned to live my faith and make it mine. I learned that it's okay to question--as long as you're willing to look deep for the answers. I learned a lot of things and matured a lot.
But the most important way that Covenant changed my life is that I met my husband there. Together we changed. Together we were challenged to look at what our life would be like. Yes, we were young and in love and couldn't imagine ever not being "in love" and actually having to work at making a marriage work. But unlike so many others, we were told that it would happen. We were aware that one day, we may not feel like staying together or loving each other--but that's what commitment was all about. And the most important of all--we were equally yoked. Through all of our immaturity at 20 and 22 years of age when we said "I do," we both knew that was the most important thing. We served and worshipped the same God, and even though that may have looked different in each of our lives, we knew how important it was.
Okay, this isn't a post on marriage. But that's definitely one of the best choices I ever made--to marry a strong, faithful man who is dedicated to his God and family and will always work hard to take care of us.
Yes, I've made wrong choices even after marriage and children. I'm sure I always will. But the big choices that I have made have brought me to where I am today. I have no doubt that it has been God's leading to bring me to make any choices that have been the "right" ones. I believe that through infertility he showed me how to live daily in his presence. I believe that through hard times he teaches us more than we could ever learn through easy times. And when we bring those choices to him and place them in his hands, he will lead us in the right direction to make the right choices--choices that will bring him glory and honor and will, in turn, bring joy to our lives and those around us.
And why did I make any of the "right" choices that I made? I guess when I ponder this, I'd have to say it was prayer. Not my prayer--mind you. Yes, I prayed. But at 16 and 17 I can tell you that I wasn't on my knees daily giving all my choices to God. I believe it was through the faithful praying of my parents and my Grandma and others in our church family who committed to pray for me. That is why I am so thankful that my children having praying grandparents and even great-grandparents. They have parents who daily lift them up and lay them before the throne. Prayer is such a powerful weapon that we so often forget.
So I would encourage you to pray for your kids. Even if you messed up with lots of bad choices and are still reaping the consequences of those choices today, bathe your children in prayer. Maybe your prayers can keep them from making the same ones! Bring your little ones to him--that's exactly where he wants them!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Reflecting on Mother's Day
I've been quiet on the blogging front lately. Maybe this is because my oldest loves to make fun of me for it! :) I really don't mind. I really enjoy his company and good natured ribbing. But, although I've thought about some blog ideas lately, I haven't sat to write anything. I think mostly because it's time consuming, and when I look around my house at how much there is to do I know that I have no business sitting down at the computer for anything other than a quick break!!
But I wanted to write today about something close to my heart--motherhood. I know I've written about this before, but since it's something that I live day in and day out, I think about it a lot. I had a great Mother's Day yesterday. My husband and kids made me breakfast in bed (not because it's the most comfortable thing in the world but because my kids love to do it and think I love it! :) And so I do love it for that reason!) They gave me a new Bible which I had been wanting. This was really special because I think it was actually the first time my husband paid attention to something that I had been talking about (without me even thinking about "hinting" that I wanted it for a specific holiday.) Then after church we went to lunch, and then we came home to the best present ever--the kids and Jon cleaned out my car. Ah, it's the best when he does it because he takes out all the seats as well and REALLY gets it clean! And this time he didn't even yell at me about how many chicken nuggets were stuck down in the far recesses of the floor! :) Then afterward we went to Jon's parents where he, his dad and brother all cooked and grilled for the moms. It was a great evening!
So, yes, I had a great Mother's Day. But so often I don't even like these holidays. Mother's Day, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. As women we sometimes have so many expectations. We've seen too many movies or read too many books or heard too many over embellished stories of romance, and our husbands just don't seem to be able to live up to those standards! I try to remember this each time one of these events rolls around, but even though I was trying to guard against this, I found the little green jealousy man creeping up a little when I read other moms' statuses of mani/pedis, massages, flowers, nights away, etc. on facebook. I really didn't want this to happen! But somewhere down inside my sinful heart, the questions start.... Why isn't my husband more romantic, sensitive, thoughtful, creative, and (if I'm being honest here...) rich? :) Yeah, that would help!!
Why do we do this to ourselves? We set up expectations that our loving husbands can't fulfill. These men who are going to work everyday, giving all of themselves for their wives and children, faithfully coming home every night to a less than perfect house (at least in my case) and maybe even doing their own laundry... yes, I'll admit, my husband has had to do a load or two of his own lately--never complaining, just doing it! Why should we really need more? I know I don't! This is the life I wanted. And my husband is exactly the man of my dreams that I had "picked" out for myself. I specifically remember a conversation with one of my best friends from college saying that I didn't want to marry anyone too "sensitive." I wanted a "manly man." Well, doesn't God deliver?? :) So I got exactly what I asked for--and now I'm going to complain about it?
I have amazing children who really want to please me. They like doing things to make me happy and bless me. This should be enough--a day in and day out blessing. I shouldn't need Mother's Day or any bells and whistles to fulfill me. Yes, it's nice to honor mothers. I'm not saying that! But wouldn't it be nice if we did it on a consistent basis instead of once a year? Wouldn't it be nice if we would "rise up and call [our mothers] blessed" more often? I know I should! But instead I send her card too late for her to even get it in time. How lame am I? How selfish and sinful? I feel deserving of so much, and yet I can't even get a card in the mail on time!! My mom deserves so much more! I love her beyond words, but I can't always get my act together. So why should I expect anything different from my own little ones or my hard-working husband?
So if you're feeling a little under appreciated after yesterday or just all together, take a look at your life. Count the blessings that you do have. Count each of those who call you "Mommy" or "Mom" or "Mama" or whatever. And know that you are blessed. If your husband comes home to you every night--even if he's too tired to strike up thoughtful conversations, thank him. Appreciate him. Tell him how much you love him because he sacrifices day in and day out for you! And remember that your reward is not here on earth. You are storing up your treasures in heaven "where moth and rust cannot destroy!" And oh how great your rewards will be--way better than any mani/pedi for Mother's Day!!
But I wanted to write today about something close to my heart--motherhood. I know I've written about this before, but since it's something that I live day in and day out, I think about it a lot. I had a great Mother's Day yesterday. My husband and kids made me breakfast in bed (not because it's the most comfortable thing in the world but because my kids love to do it and think I love it! :) And so I do love it for that reason!) They gave me a new Bible which I had been wanting. This was really special because I think it was actually the first time my husband paid attention to something that I had been talking about (without me even thinking about "hinting" that I wanted it for a specific holiday.) Then after church we went to lunch, and then we came home to the best present ever--the kids and Jon cleaned out my car. Ah, it's the best when he does it because he takes out all the seats as well and REALLY gets it clean! And this time he didn't even yell at me about how many chicken nuggets were stuck down in the far recesses of the floor! :) Then afterward we went to Jon's parents where he, his dad and brother all cooked and grilled for the moms. It was a great evening!
So, yes, I had a great Mother's Day. But so often I don't even like these holidays. Mother's Day, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. As women we sometimes have so many expectations. We've seen too many movies or read too many books or heard too many over embellished stories of romance, and our husbands just don't seem to be able to live up to those standards! I try to remember this each time one of these events rolls around, but even though I was trying to guard against this, I found the little green jealousy man creeping up a little when I read other moms' statuses of mani/pedis, massages, flowers, nights away, etc. on facebook. I really didn't want this to happen! But somewhere down inside my sinful heart, the questions start.... Why isn't my husband more romantic, sensitive, thoughtful, creative, and (if I'm being honest here...) rich? :) Yeah, that would help!!
Why do we do this to ourselves? We set up expectations that our loving husbands can't fulfill. These men who are going to work everyday, giving all of themselves for their wives and children, faithfully coming home every night to a less than perfect house (at least in my case) and maybe even doing their own laundry... yes, I'll admit, my husband has had to do a load or two of his own lately--never complaining, just doing it! Why should we really need more? I know I don't! This is the life I wanted. And my husband is exactly the man of my dreams that I had "picked" out for myself. I specifically remember a conversation with one of my best friends from college saying that I didn't want to marry anyone too "sensitive." I wanted a "manly man." Well, doesn't God deliver?? :) So I got exactly what I asked for--and now I'm going to complain about it?
I have amazing children who really want to please me. They like doing things to make me happy and bless me. This should be enough--a day in and day out blessing. I shouldn't need Mother's Day or any bells and whistles to fulfill me. Yes, it's nice to honor mothers. I'm not saying that! But wouldn't it be nice if we did it on a consistent basis instead of once a year? Wouldn't it be nice if we would "rise up and call [our mothers] blessed" more often? I know I should! But instead I send her card too late for her to even get it in time. How lame am I? How selfish and sinful? I feel deserving of so much, and yet I can't even get a card in the mail on time!! My mom deserves so much more! I love her beyond words, but I can't always get my act together. So why should I expect anything different from my own little ones or my hard-working husband?
So if you're feeling a little under appreciated after yesterday or just all together, take a look at your life. Count the blessings that you do have. Count each of those who call you "Mommy" or "Mom" or "Mama" or whatever. And know that you are blessed. If your husband comes home to you every night--even if he's too tired to strike up thoughtful conversations, thank him. Appreciate him. Tell him how much you love him because he sacrifices day in and day out for you! And remember that your reward is not here on earth. You are storing up your treasures in heaven "where moth and rust cannot destroy!" And oh how great your rewards will be--way better than any mani/pedi for Mother's Day!!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
How many is "too many"?
Everyone has a different answer, I'm sure. For some, two is perfect. For others, they only want one or maybe they want to break the status quo and go with three or even four. And then there are those crazy few who want five, six or even more. So how many is "too many" for you?
If you haven't guessed by now, I'm talking about children. Those precious little blessings that enrich our lives in every way imaginable. Don't worry. This isn't going to be a long diatribe about birth control or letting God have control of your fertility--although I do have a pretty firm view on both of those issues. I am writing this post in hopes of helping some family--maybe even just one--before it's too late.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about our eight month old and how different it is this time around. I've been thinking about how having another one wouldn't be so hard. It really is true what they say--the more you have, the easier it gets.
I say that to reinforce the truth in it. I know many couples who have three or four little ones, and they feel like they are drowning. It's so hard to see past the diapers, feedings, constant discipline, endless laundry, and no time together as a couple. They think, "We can't do this again. It's too much!!" So they take their fertility into their own hands, and make the decision to permanently cut off any future offspring. I've heard them say, "If God really wants us to have another one, we know he can give it to us. A vasectomy isn't going to stop Him." But God doesn't usually work that way. If we ask for blessings to be cut off from us, that's usually what's going to happen.
Now, a few years later, I'm hearing those same couples lamenting that decision. Mommies are longing for another baby in their arms. They are realizing that things wouldn't be so hard this time around. Things change. Children grow up. They don't stay in diapers forever. They don't need our constant attention for too long. And if we are doing our jobs, even a little, they are learning some responsibility and what it means to help out as part of a family.
Secondly, children looooove babies. I hear it ALL the time--children begging their parents to have more siblings for them! My kids just assume that there will be another baby. They talk about him/her usually on a daily basis as if it's just a given that there will be another one. Once children get old enough to feel this way about new babies, they are old enough to be a huge help with that same baby.
It took me until this baby, my 6th one, to see this. I had heard it from others as well. But the difference between the job of taking care of my 5th and the job of taking care of this one is vast. I marvel at how much help my children are. They are in love with this precious little brother! They "ooo" and "goo" over him constantly! He lights up when they are around. The girls use him as their real life baby doll to play house so that I can clean the kitchen, get schoolwork done with another child, or do whatever else needs to be done. Or if I'm lucky, they will clean the kitchen, do the laundry or whatever else while I get to play with the baby! :) My oldest girl is just turning nine this weekend, and let's be honest--they are usually the ones who help out the most in the domestic areas anyway. So while my oldest is 14, most of his expertise is spent doing the outside work, but he does help out with the baby for sure!
Yes, I'm still the one who gets up with him at night. But if I need an extra hour of sleep in the morning, there's always someone willing to get up and play with him so that I can get it. They change diapers, dress him, love to feed him his solid food, and entertain him all day long!
All of this makes this Mama heart of mine soar! Babies bring families together! What could bring the same amount of joy other than this pure innocence and newness of life?
I say all this to encourage moms and dads of lots of little ones to please wait! Wait before doing something permanent that you may regret later. I'm not telling you to throw caution to the wind and have a baby every year (although if you breastfeed on demand for at least a year your chances of doing that are VERY unlikely.) I'm just saying, don't do anything permanent. If you have a few little ones and things seem crazy, I completely understand your pain. When I had my 4th, I had three children under three years old and an 8 year old that I was homeschooling!! Within five minutes of her birth my prayer was, "Lord, please just give me 2 1/2 years before the next one." We never 'tried' for a number five, but she was born exactly--to the month--2 1/2 years later!! Is God awesome or what?? When we trust Him and His timing, we know that He will give us exactly what we need. I didn't give God a time frame for the next one. I didn't really think I'd have anymore (that's what my husband said anyway.) But God had other plans, and I'm so glad He did. Three years later our little Cedar was born. Our family would have missed out on so much joy that Cedar has brought to us! I'm so glad that we didn't do anything permanent--and we still won't.
My girls are learning first hand how to be Mamas. They are learning how to run a house, school children, and take care of a baby all at the same time. No, things aren't perfect. Our house is no where CLOSE to perfect!! But that's not the priority right now. Yes, I wish I were better at teaching them that. I wish I was more disciplined in that area so that they had a better example. I'm working on that with lots of prayer and practice!! But they do see that it can be done and done happily (usually.) And at the end of the day when Daddy comes home, they see an example of how to be a wife as well. Once again, not always perfectly but they see it coming from a heart that wants to serve.
I don't say any of this to toot my own horn. I promise--no horn tooting here!! My husband and I struggle with our decision to let God have the reigns in the area of our fertility after every baby. I hate being pregnant!! I struggle with losing weight after the birth. I do sometimes think how nice it would be to just pick up and go away with him for the weekend. He worries about finances. He stresses about time to spend with them. We both think about the fact that we are getting older with every baby!! I was 23 with my first, and I was 36 when this one was born! But in the end, we both rest assured knowing that He's in control.
If you know me, you know that I struggled with infertility for five years between my 1st and 2nd child. I've often said that God kept me from having babies to put my on my knees, and now he continues to give them to me to keep me on my knees!! God knows this Mama's heart. He knows that I'm a pretty strong lady, and it could get easy for me to think that I was doing things on my own!! I think He gives me these precious little ones to be my constant reminder that His grace is the ONLY way I can do it!
So don't sell yourself short. Don't miss out on the opportunity to give yourself and your kids more of the greatest blessings you could ever know!! And if you have already done something permanent--there's always adoption. Expensive? Yes. But pray about it. If God gives you the heart, He will provide the way.
If you haven't guessed by now, I'm talking about children. Those precious little blessings that enrich our lives in every way imaginable. Don't worry. This isn't going to be a long diatribe about birth control or letting God have control of your fertility--although I do have a pretty firm view on both of those issues. I am writing this post in hopes of helping some family--maybe even just one--before it's too late.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about our eight month old and how different it is this time around. I've been thinking about how having another one wouldn't be so hard. It really is true what they say--the more you have, the easier it gets.
I say that to reinforce the truth in it. I know many couples who have three or four little ones, and they feel like they are drowning. It's so hard to see past the diapers, feedings, constant discipline, endless laundry, and no time together as a couple. They think, "We can't do this again. It's too much!!" So they take their fertility into their own hands, and make the decision to permanently cut off any future offspring. I've heard them say, "If God really wants us to have another one, we know he can give it to us. A vasectomy isn't going to stop Him." But God doesn't usually work that way. If we ask for blessings to be cut off from us, that's usually what's going to happen.
Now, a few years later, I'm hearing those same couples lamenting that decision. Mommies are longing for another baby in their arms. They are realizing that things wouldn't be so hard this time around. Things change. Children grow up. They don't stay in diapers forever. They don't need our constant attention for too long. And if we are doing our jobs, even a little, they are learning some responsibility and what it means to help out as part of a family.
Secondly, children looooove babies. I hear it ALL the time--children begging their parents to have more siblings for them! My kids just assume that there will be another baby. They talk about him/her usually on a daily basis as if it's just a given that there will be another one. Once children get old enough to feel this way about new babies, they are old enough to be a huge help with that same baby.
It took me until this baby, my 6th one, to see this. I had heard it from others as well. But the difference between the job of taking care of my 5th and the job of taking care of this one is vast. I marvel at how much help my children are. They are in love with this precious little brother! They "ooo" and "goo" over him constantly! He lights up when they are around. The girls use him as their real life baby doll to play house so that I can clean the kitchen, get schoolwork done with another child, or do whatever else needs to be done. Or if I'm lucky, they will clean the kitchen, do the laundry or whatever else while I get to play with the baby! :) My oldest girl is just turning nine this weekend, and let's be honest--they are usually the ones who help out the most in the domestic areas anyway. So while my oldest is 14, most of his expertise is spent doing the outside work, but he does help out with the baby for sure!
Yes, I'm still the one who gets up with him at night. But if I need an extra hour of sleep in the morning, there's always someone willing to get up and play with him so that I can get it. They change diapers, dress him, love to feed him his solid food, and entertain him all day long!
All of this makes this Mama heart of mine soar! Babies bring families together! What could bring the same amount of joy other than this pure innocence and newness of life?
I say all this to encourage moms and dads of lots of little ones to please wait! Wait before doing something permanent that you may regret later. I'm not telling you to throw caution to the wind and have a baby every year (although if you breastfeed on demand for at least a year your chances of doing that are VERY unlikely.) I'm just saying, don't do anything permanent. If you have a few little ones and things seem crazy, I completely understand your pain. When I had my 4th, I had three children under three years old and an 8 year old that I was homeschooling!! Within five minutes of her birth my prayer was, "Lord, please just give me 2 1/2 years before the next one." We never 'tried' for a number five, but she was born exactly--to the month--2 1/2 years later!! Is God awesome or what?? When we trust Him and His timing, we know that He will give us exactly what we need. I didn't give God a time frame for the next one. I didn't really think I'd have anymore (that's what my husband said anyway.) But God had other plans, and I'm so glad He did. Three years later our little Cedar was born. Our family would have missed out on so much joy that Cedar has brought to us! I'm so glad that we didn't do anything permanent--and we still won't.
My girls are learning first hand how to be Mamas. They are learning how to run a house, school children, and take care of a baby all at the same time. No, things aren't perfect. Our house is no where CLOSE to perfect!! But that's not the priority right now. Yes, I wish I were better at teaching them that. I wish I was more disciplined in that area so that they had a better example. I'm working on that with lots of prayer and practice!! But they do see that it can be done and done happily (usually.) And at the end of the day when Daddy comes home, they see an example of how to be a wife as well. Once again, not always perfectly but they see it coming from a heart that wants to serve.
I don't say any of this to toot my own horn. I promise--no horn tooting here!! My husband and I struggle with our decision to let God have the reigns in the area of our fertility after every baby. I hate being pregnant!! I struggle with losing weight after the birth. I do sometimes think how nice it would be to just pick up and go away with him for the weekend. He worries about finances. He stresses about time to spend with them. We both think about the fact that we are getting older with every baby!! I was 23 with my first, and I was 36 when this one was born! But in the end, we both rest assured knowing that He's in control.
If you know me, you know that I struggled with infertility for five years between my 1st and 2nd child. I've often said that God kept me from having babies to put my on my knees, and now he continues to give them to me to keep me on my knees!! God knows this Mama's heart. He knows that I'm a pretty strong lady, and it could get easy for me to think that I was doing things on my own!! I think He gives me these precious little ones to be my constant reminder that His grace is the ONLY way I can do it!
So don't sell yourself short. Don't miss out on the opportunity to give yourself and your kids more of the greatest blessings you could ever know!! And if you have already done something permanent--there's always adoption. Expensive? Yes. But pray about it. If God gives you the heart, He will provide the way.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Family Valentine Dinner
Tonight we decided to do Valentine's Day together as a family. The kids never get to do "romantic" dinners so I did candles and everything for them. They even got to eat on real plates with the stemmed glasses! They usually get paper plates and plastic cups! :) The girls absolutely loved it, of course. They wanted to turn off every light in the house except the candles! The boys couldn't have cared less except that they didn't want all the lights off! We compromised with keeping the Living Room lights on! :) But that's okay. Maybe they'll remember someday that they had a mom who tried!! :) We did our traditional Valentine breakfast on Saturday because Sunday was too hard, and this morning was Classical Conversations so that was too early! I made heart shaped pancakes, and each child gets a little bag with chocolates at his/her place. This is a huge thing for them!! :) They treasure it. Except Cama-Jane got a little greedy and ate all of Shepley's bag!! Poor Shepley! I forgot to take pictures that morning, but I took some tonight.
My Daddy bought me a dozen roses which were the perfect centerpiece for our Valentine dinner. I have the best Daddy of all, and I am so blessed by him.
So here's to love. Here's to having a special day each year set aside to celebrate that love. Here's to Valentine's Day--a totally commercial Hallmark holiday that actually drives me crazy with it's "expectations" that are never met. But I do these things because my kids love traditions, and I love to make memories for them! My sweet husband isn't really into Hallmark holidays either, and that's okay. I know he loves me on every day of the year!
My Daddy bought me a dozen roses which were the perfect centerpiece for our Valentine dinner. I have the best Daddy of all, and I am so blessed by him.
So here's to love. Here's to having a special day each year set aside to celebrate that love. Here's to Valentine's Day--a totally commercial Hallmark holiday that actually drives me crazy with it's "expectations" that are never met. But I do these things because my kids love traditions, and I love to make memories for them! My sweet husband isn't really into Hallmark holidays either, and that's okay. I know he loves me on every day of the year!
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