For Better or for Worse

*I started this yesterday but didn't finish until now.... six kids, that's my excuse!!

Today is my anniversary.

17 years ago today I married the man of my dreams. I mean that with all of my heart. If I could have taken all that I wanted/dreamed about in a husband and stuffed it inside a flesh and blood body, I couldn't have made a more perfect model of exactly what I thought I wanted!! ;) He was exactly what I asked for, dreamed of, talked about. Sometimes God does have a sense of humor, doesn't he? :) I remember sitting on my friend's bed in college and both of us pouring out our hearts to describe the perfect guy for us. Jon fit my mold--and he still does! (Only one slight issue--I was the one who changed!!) :) I don't mean that he's not still perfect for me. He is! But God has definitely had to remind me a few times through the years that those things that might sometimes drive me crazy now are the exact things I wanted in the beginning. Ah, the irony!

In the beginning..... he was mysterious. Really. Not many people really knew Jon. There are not many people still who really know Jon! He was definitely the strong, silent type (check #1 off my list.) He seemed serious and guarded. He also seemed a little bit dangerous (check #2 off my list.) He took big risks and liked adventure. When he played, he played hard. When he worked, he worked hard. He was competitive and goal oriented. He knew what he wanted and what he needed to do to get it. He didn't let much get in his way...... except me.

I knew from the beginning that he was falling for me. He never flirted or really gave too many girls the time of day. But he tried to flirt with me. (Yes, notice I said tried.) I don't mean to make fun of him, but flirting is not one of his strong suits, and he will totally admit that!! :) But he noticed me, and he tried to show me that. I felt pursued by him (check #3 off my list.) After a while I knew that he would change every plan he had ever made for me. I knew that I was one of the only people who had ever penetrated that tough exterior to see the real him. I knew the real him--something that only a handful of people did. That made me love him all the more.

He was solid. He was stable. (check #4 off) He was not emotional. (check #5 off) Yes, that's right. I wanted a guy who wasn't emotional or too sensitive. :) And my sweetheart fit the description!! :) I love him, oh how I love him, but I did realize later that maybe just maybe, he could stand to be a bit more sensitive! Ha! :) That's what I meant about he didn't change--I did!! But this was a guy with his head on straight. This was a guy who was faithful, loyal, trusted in Christ, and was a steady rock for me. I knew this was a guy that I could submit to in marriage. I knew he would always take care of me and always listen to me--and then I could trust that he would ultimately make decisions in our family for all of our good. I knew I could marry him and give him my entire heart and trust that "for better or for worse" he would stay. He would love me. He was committed to me--forever.

I can't tell you how many times I have been thankful for that. I can't tell you how many times I have looked out the window as he's driving up the driveway, coming home from work, and with tears in my eyes thought *he's still coming home to me.* I remember thinking on the day we got married how amazing it was that wherever we ended up, no matter where we moved or went, it didn't matter at all because all that was important was that I got to live every day for the rest of my life with him. And I still think that! I really don't care where we go--as long as it's with him.

He is my "earthly" rock. He keeps me grounded. He is steady and stable, and I trust him with everything that I am and have. I have no trouble submitting everything to him, listening to him, and yes, even obeying him. We said it in our vows!! I know it's not PC to have "love and obey" in your vows anymore, but I'm so glad we did. It's biblical, and it works!! He is my head. I am his helpmeet. I have no trouble with this. Thankfully, I had a wonderful role model in my own mother growing up to see this in action and know it works. I was very blessed, and I'm am very thankful. I hope my children are able to see it in our marriage as well.

I've never felt run over by him. If you know me, you know there's not too many people that could run over me! :) He's never used me or taken advantage of me. He's never made me feel like a doormat or that my opinion didn't matter. He's always listened to me and he's always supported my dreams and endeavors 100%. I think that's what makes us work. We both seek to fill our roles in marriage biblically. Imagine that!! God's ideas work! :) No, we aren't perfect at it!! Not even close. There are plenty of times that our flesh gets in the way. Our children can certainly attest to that, I'm sure. But when we mess up, we once again go back to our life source--Jesus. He's the only one who can repair the damage and get us back where we need to be.

But that's when the "commitment" part comes in. That's what marriage is. It's not just "We'll do this while we still feel in love with each other." While it's hard to believe in the beginning that you aren't going to be head over heels for the rest of your life, that time eventually comes when you realize, "Hmmm, he's not very lovable today" or "I just don't really feel like loving him today" or whatever.... Life happens. You get busy. You forget to take the time to nurture your relationship. But even if you do all the right things, there's no way anyone can ever feel like that forever. It just doesn't happen. That's when the commitment has to mean something. We said vows. We made those vows before God and witnesses, and we promised that we would stay together "til death do us part." We meant it. There are no other choices. I am my beloved's and he is mine--forever. There is real security in that. There is real security in knowing that he takes those vows just as seriously as I do. And there's real security for my children in that as well. They know and have no doubt that their Daddy is always going to be coming home at the end of the day. They may not love having their older brother babysit them a couple of times a month for us to go out, but I think one day they will be so glad that we did that! :)

I'm not an expert on marriage. I do not claim to be!! I can just tell you what's worked for us. We've prayed together, read God's word together and committed to the biblical model for marriage. I'm so thankful for this security in my life. I'm thankful for 17 years, and I'm thankful for the years ahead that I look forward to "for better or for worse--til death do us part."