Back to blogging

Well, it's been awhile! I have sat down a few times to write, but I just haven't had the inspiration. We've been in Knoxville now since November 14, and can I just say that it's been hard for me! I guess it's been hard because I didn't expect it to be. I'm a pretty free spirit--upbeat, positive, low stress, adaptable. I should have been fine, right? Man, I didn't realize how hard it would be--being in transition for a month before finally moving into our house, unpacking and trying to home school kids at the same time, trying to live "normal" life with six kids in the midst of chaos, months of very little sleep because of kids just not being able to get into a normal sleep pattern, having a very clingy four year old just about put me over the edge, pulling up roots of 11 years and all of our kids' memories and replanting those somewhere 14 hours away where they knew no one, finding new friends, and the biggest one--leaving our amazing church with such amazing people where God is doing amazing things and finding a new one!! Now, I'm not saying that God isn't doing amazing things here. I know that the mission of the church that we have been attending is a great one. I believe they are right on track with where God wants them to be. It's just different from where we've been. Different is hard sometimes.

I keep feeling like I want to get involved in things here--homeschooling things, the birth world (doula stuff), etc. but I just keep feeling like I've got too much still to do at home. The house is never clean enough. There are never enough groceries. Someone ALWAYS needs to be fed. Another box always needs to be unpacked. Another room always needs cleaning up. There's always something else that takes precedence before getting involved. I've heard about some homeschooling groups but we decided not to join a co-op in January for the remainder of the year. So I just continue to put things on hold. I did get a call out of the blue today from another doula here in Knoxville. I just changed my contact information on the DONA (doulas of north america) website, and I guess she noticed a new name. I was very excited to talk to her. It seems that the doula here are pretty involved together. I'd love to be a part of that! So that's something!

One thing that has been good that's come from the move is my kids' relationships with each other. Yes, they still have arguments and maybe even a little more because they are together all the time. But all in all, they have gotten so much closer. They love being together and playing together. And I have a 15 year old who hangs out at home, talks to me about all sorts of stuff and seems to be doing just fine even though he knows no one here! He's just that kind. Thankfully he has his iphone and he stays in touch with old friends, but as far as people here, there's no one yet. And he's just like his dad--he doesn't seem to mind! I'm hoping that will change next fall as he will be taking some classes at the co-op here, but until then, he seems fine to just stay at home and hang out!

So that's what's going on here, I guess. Not much still. I feel like our lives are on hold. We visited Naples in January, and that was hard. But we made it. I know this is where God has us. Jon is happy at work and feels challenged. I'm happy for him. I've had four kids on antibiotics in the last six weeks. That NEVER happens at our house!! But it did. I'm blaming it on the climate change. ;) We've switched another child to gluten free. That's kindof something that I'm tired of thinking about. Man, it would be easier just to fix her a turkey sandwich with "nanaise" (as she says.) GF bread just isn't so easy to work with. We do it, but it's expensive as well! Just something else to have to think about in my life!!

Sorry if this has been a negative, complaining blog. I guess maybe I needed to do this a long time ago and get this all out! I know God is working in my life. I know he has big plans. I trust Jeremiah 29:11 that says that he has plans for me--to give me a hope and a future. Right now I'm just waiting. Waiting until he reveals my future and those plans. To say right now is dry in my life would be the understatement of the year! I'm used to being used at church, in the community, and other places as well as in my home. I guess right now God just wants me here--at home. So that's what I'll do. I'll stay home while he wants me to and follow his lead when it's time to venture out. It's kind of lonely, but I'll be fine. God is good all the time.....even in the middle of the dry spells.