Cedar's Birth story

*Here's my birth story. I wrote it last year about a week after he was born. It was on my doula blog so some may have read it. Cedar Knox Richards was born on June 29, 2010. It was a beautiful and enjoyable (yes, I said enjoyable) home birth!!*

Let's just say first of all, I'm not a very good client of myself as a doula!! :) I tell my clients all the right stuff, but it's hard to take your own advice. I started getting very antsy and ready to have this baby about 2 weeks before this baby was due. Now, in all fairness, I have to say that most of this was due to anxiety of how big the baby was going to be. My last baby was 11 lb. 4 oz. and she had shoulder dystocia. So I didn't want this baby to get that big. Plus, my labor with my last one was 9 hours long with 2 hours of transition because of her size. I didn't want that again either!! So I talked with my midwife about some natural labor progression techniques. I used some of the ones that I have put in my blog before. I used some homeopathics, borage oil, and then castor oil. None of it worked!! That was about 3 or 4 days before my due date. My midwife said she wasn't worried about the size of the baby at that point. She did not think it was going to be nearly as big as the last. So she told me just to relax and wait. So I did....

Three days after my due date, on June 28th, I went in to my midwife's office for my scheduled appointment. I had been 4 cm, 90% effaced, at 0 station for four days now!! I had been woken up nightly with huge contractions--each time thinking "this HAS to be it" only to have them fizzle out after a few. I had had diarrhea for a couple of nights in a row as well, and I had lost my mucus plug a few days earlier. I couldn't imagine what was keeping this baby in!! I knew though that all the signs were there, and my body was ready!! After checking me, my midwife said that none of the above had changed, but really, I couldn't be much more ready!! She did say, though, as she manually felt the baby that she thought it was definitely time to get baby out. She said she estimated about 9 1/2 pounds. And although we both agreed that I could certainly handle that, we didn't want to push it any further--especially since we couldn't know for sure!! So we agreed that if nothing happened that day, she would come that night and rupture my membranes (break my water) to get the contractions really going. I obviously had some oxytocin working there to get the contractions going but just couldn't keep them strong.

All day I had regular contractions--just not really strong ones. But I knew my body was in early labor (I think it had been for a week!) So my midwife came that night around 10. Oh, I forgot to say earlier that I had tested positive for Group B Strep so I was going to have to have 2 rounds of antibiotics while in labor before the baby was born. That was a reason as well to try to "control" the labor as much as possible--to make sure I got those. If not, the baby would have had to have a blood work up afterward. I wanted to avoid that if possible. So that afternoon around 5, I went into the birth center and got my first dose of antibiotics. I got the second dose at 10 when she got to my house. She checked me and my cervix had dilated to 5 cm at that point. She felt really good about that because she said she really liked moms to be at least 5 cm if they needed their water broken. So at 10:30, she broke my water. 

Contractions still continued to feel the same but just came closer together for about an hour. I timed them for about 30 minutes just to see. They were about 4-5 minutes apart and about 1 minute long--pretty standard for knowing you are in labor. Around 11:30, I started feeling like they were getting a lot stronger. I got on the birthing ball and got my husband. He sat behind me and rubbed my back and especially my lower back. I leaned over the footboard of the bed while I swayed on the ball. His counter pressure on my lower spine really helped relieve the pain of the contractions. He HATES using oil to massage so this was a huge sacrifice for him b/c I made him use a lot! :) He did some hip squeezes and good massage for about 45 minutes. It was amazing as I was sitting on the ball, completely in tune with my body. I could feel the baby turning and descending even more. I could feel every move he made and knew that he would be making his arrival soon! Around 12:15 I sent my husband to tell my midwife that I was ready for the bathtub. Contractions were coming fast and strong. And I knew I was about 7 cm. She wanted to check my vitals first, but when I had three contractions right on top of each other she said, "Just get in!!"

The water was such a huge relief. It truly is the natural epidural for me! Once I get in, I get a break in my contractions for probably a good 7 to 8 minutes. They started back up though coming fast and strong. I couldn't get the water as high as I wanted to cover my whole abdomen so my husband poured water over my stomach over and over. That felt great, and it was so much harder during the ones where my midwife was checking the baby with the doppler and he had to stop! I was in the bathtub for probably about 30 minutes when things REALLY  started getting hard. I knew transition was coming--I just didn't know how long it would take!! Those last 2 cm are the real test of labor. I knew to just relax and surrender to what my body was doing. That's the only way. When you fight labor pains, it makes it longer and harder. So all my concentration went into relaxing every part of my body and telling myself exactly what I tell my clients--that my body is doing exactly what it's made to do, trust my body, and allow it to open up and let my baby descend out. I started to groan with my contractions, making sure that my throat was open and never closed. Your sphincters are related so when your throat is closed, your cervix has a harder time opening up. My body was shaking all over, and I knew I was in the middle of transition and the end was near. I could do this. I am strong, and my body is capable. I only had about four transitional contractions and I had to push. I told my midwife, and she had me breathe through one pushing contraction. She checked for fetal heart tones with her doppler. We both knew that I would need to get out of the tub. We didn't think that I'd have the same problem with shoulder dystocia, but we both felt better about me being in the bed--just in case. 

I stood up to get out and had another pushing contraction. I grabbed onto my husband but had to sit on the edge of the tub. I was seriously afraid that the baby was going to come out right there. I could feel the baby's head coming! I knew from previous experience that I was not going to have to push very many times to get this baby out. After that one, my husband helped me quickly to the bed, called in all the entourage of people (plus our children) who were there to witness this blessed event, and we were almost there! 

As the kids came in with their sleepy eyes and bedhead, they had many emotions. The older ones were totally excited while my five year old was a little apprehensive. I had talked to them all about it before, and they knew that they could leave if they wanted. I asked them if they wanted to stay or leave, and all of them wanted to stay. I got another urge to push and pushed the baby's head out with that one. My midwife told me that the whole head was out--which meant that there was no dystocia. I was so relieved!! I looked around at all the beautiful faces of all of my precious miracles witnessing this one, and I was overwhelmed with gratefulness. They were in awe. After a couple of minutes I gave one last huge push to get the shoulders and body out, and immediately my baby was on my chest--as pink as he could be from the beginning! It was 1:26 am--less than 3 hours after she ruptured my membranes. I didn't even think to look and see what the sex was (because we hadn't found out) until my midwife asked! :) I lifted him up and saw that my "hunch" had been right. He was indeed a boy! I announced that he was boy and then made the long awaited announcement of his name (which we had also kept a secret) "Cedar Knox Richards." He didn't scream right away, but he was breathing great. He was just peaceful and calm. His birth was amazingly quick and empowering--right in the comfort of our own home. There were 15 people in the room at the time of the birth--all people who will care for and love Cedar and be a part of his life. I couldn't ask for more for my baby--to be welcomed into this world by all this love! We all laughed and celebrated together at the miracle of another child of God.

We waited for the placenta to detach and be expelled naturally. Then we waited for the cord to stop pulsating before it was clamped. My husband cut the cord along with two of my children who wanted to "help." After drinking some orange juice and celebrating, I put Cedar to my breast. He immediately knew what to do, and didn't even need prompting!! He nursed for about 20 minutes on one side. I then gave him to my midwife to weigh, measure and check over. He weighed 9 lb. 9 0z. and was 20 1/2 in. I'd say my midwife is a pretty good estimator of weight!! :) She gave him back, and he nursed on the other side for another 20 minutes or so. 

This is one of the many reasons I love homebirth!! Maybe if I could get the hospitals to add king size
beds in the delivery rooms to accommodate my amazing kids after the birth, I might
consider birthing there!! :) No, not really!

Eventually, the room cleared, and my husband and I were left with our precious miracle. It was about  3:45 am at that point. My husband was exhausted, but I had that adrenaline rush that wouldn't let me sleep!! I spent most of the night staring at my new bundle. I went to sleep around 5:30 I think.

I'm still in awe of how God has blessed my life with all six of these amazing miracles. Motherhood is an overwhelming joy and an overwhelming job! It's my privilege and joy to be able to help other women as they enter this sacred calling.

For Better or for Worse

*I started this yesterday but didn't finish until now.... six kids, that's my excuse!!

Today is my anniversary.

17 years ago today I married the man of my dreams. I mean that with all of my heart. If I could have taken all that I wanted/dreamed about in a husband and stuffed it inside a flesh and blood body, I couldn't have made a more perfect model of exactly what I thought I wanted!! ;) He was exactly what I asked for, dreamed of, talked about. Sometimes God does have a sense of humor, doesn't he? :) I remember sitting on my friend's bed in college and both of us pouring out our hearts to describe the perfect guy for us. Jon fit my mold--and he still does! (Only one slight issue--I was the one who changed!!) :) I don't mean that he's not still perfect for me. He is! But God has definitely had to remind me a few times through the years that those things that might sometimes drive me crazy now are the exact things I wanted in the beginning. Ah, the irony!

In the beginning..... he was mysterious. Really. Not many people really knew Jon. There are not many people still who really know Jon! He was definitely the strong, silent type (check #1 off my list.) He seemed serious and guarded. He also seemed a little bit dangerous (check #2 off my list.) He took big risks and liked adventure. When he played, he played hard. When he worked, he worked hard. He was competitive and goal oriented. He knew what he wanted and what he needed to do to get it. He didn't let much get in his way...... except me.

I knew from the beginning that he was falling for me. He never flirted or really gave too many girls the time of day. But he tried to flirt with me. (Yes, notice I said tried.) I don't mean to make fun of him, but flirting is not one of his strong suits, and he will totally admit that!! :) But he noticed me, and he tried to show me that. I felt pursued by him (check #3 off my list.) After a while I knew that he would change every plan he had ever made for me. I knew that I was one of the only people who had ever penetrated that tough exterior to see the real him. I knew the real him--something that only a handful of people did. That made me love him all the more.

He was solid. He was stable. (check #4 off) He was not emotional. (check #5 off) Yes, that's right. I wanted a guy who wasn't emotional or too sensitive. :) And my sweetheart fit the description!! :) I love him, oh how I love him, but I did realize later that maybe just maybe, he could stand to be a bit more sensitive! Ha! :) That's what I meant about he didn't change--I did!! But this was a guy with his head on straight. This was a guy who was faithful, loyal, trusted in Christ, and was a steady rock for me. I knew this was a guy that I could submit to in marriage. I knew he would always take care of me and always listen to me--and then I could trust that he would ultimately make decisions in our family for all of our good. I knew I could marry him and give him my entire heart and trust that "for better or for worse" he would stay. He would love me. He was committed to me--forever.

I can't tell you how many times I have been thankful for that. I can't tell you how many times I have looked out the window as he's driving up the driveway, coming home from work, and with tears in my eyes thought *he's still coming home to me.* I remember thinking on the day we got married how amazing it was that wherever we ended up, no matter where we moved or went, it didn't matter at all because all that was important was that I got to live every day for the rest of my life with him. And I still think that! I really don't care where we go--as long as it's with him.

He is my "earthly" rock. He keeps me grounded. He is steady and stable, and I trust him with everything that I am and have. I have no trouble submitting everything to him, listening to him, and yes, even obeying him. We said it in our vows!! I know it's not PC to have "love and obey" in your vows anymore, but I'm so glad we did. It's biblical, and it works!! He is my head. I am his helpmeet. I have no trouble with this. Thankfully, I had a wonderful role model in my own mother growing up to see this in action and know it works. I was very blessed, and I'm am very thankful. I hope my children are able to see it in our marriage as well.

I've never felt run over by him. If you know me, you know there's not too many people that could run over me! :) He's never used me or taken advantage of me. He's never made me feel like a doormat or that my opinion didn't matter. He's always listened to me and he's always supported my dreams and endeavors 100%. I think that's what makes us work. We both seek to fill our roles in marriage biblically. Imagine that!! God's ideas work! :) No, we aren't perfect at it!! Not even close. There are plenty of times that our flesh gets in the way. Our children can certainly attest to that, I'm sure. But when we mess up, we once again go back to our life source--Jesus. He's the only one who can repair the damage and get us back where we need to be.

But that's when the "commitment" part comes in. That's what marriage is. It's not just "We'll do this while we still feel in love with each other." While it's hard to believe in the beginning that you aren't going to be head over heels for the rest of your life, that time eventually comes when you realize, "Hmmm, he's not very lovable today" or "I just don't really feel like loving him today" or whatever.... Life happens. You get busy. You forget to take the time to nurture your relationship. But even if you do all the right things, there's no way anyone can ever feel like that forever. It just doesn't happen. That's when the commitment has to mean something. We said vows. We made those vows before God and witnesses, and we promised that we would stay together "til death do us part." We meant it. There are no other choices. I am my beloved's and he is mine--forever. There is real security in that. There is real security in knowing that he takes those vows just as seriously as I do. And there's real security for my children in that as well. They know and have no doubt that their Daddy is always going to be coming home at the end of the day. They may not love having their older brother babysit them a couple of times a month for us to go out, but I think one day they will be so glad that we did that! :)

I'm not an expert on marriage. I do not claim to be!! I can just tell you what's worked for us. We've prayed together, read God's word together and committed to the biblical model for marriage. I'm so thankful for this security in my life. I'm thankful for 17 years, and I'm thankful for the years ahead that I look forward to "for better or for worse--til death do us part."

Rubs and Salves

I've started a new endeavor in my life. I'm always looking for something new (like I don't already have enough going on.) But I love finding alternatives to conventional medicine, and if I can make them myself--even better!! If I can help other people and make a little money in the process, well that's just about the best!! My idea to make these sprang from something I've been doing for years. Whenever my kids get a cold, cough or sore throat, I always have made an oil rub for their chest (and the bottom of their feet.) I don't like to use Vick's Vapor Rub because it's got a petroleum base (petroleum=gasoline=something I don't want rubbed into my children's skin.) So I found this essential oil concoction suggested in an herbal book about 6 or 7 years ago. It has worked like a charm for us. I've given the recipe to so many people, I can't even count. But the problem is that the initial investment into it is about $50. Now, of course you can use those oils for a really long time. But there are lots of people who don't want to spend that first $50 and would rather just reach for the Vicks! I don't blame them. I use essential oils a lot for lots of different things so for me, it's just another remedy. So I started thinking, *How could I bottle this stuff and help other people?*

You see, your skin readily absorbs anything it comes in contact with. I've read that anything you rub on your skin (lotions, make-up, sunscreen) hits your blood stream in about 27 seconds!! So it's really important that we make sure that we put good stuff on our skin. Most health and beauty products have mineral oil (which clogs pores and causes toxins to be trapped in your body), petroleum based products and parabens (preservatives which are known carcinogens.) When possible, I like to use organic products and ALWAYS read the labels for ingredients that I actually know what they are!! So for me, it's much easier just to make it myself. Then I don't have to worry about what's going on my family's skin. And it also WORKS!!! (Which is the most important thing, right??)

So I've been working on these for a little while now, and I'm ready to sell them. Here's just the first preview. I have diaper rash cream, cold/cough rub, eczema salve, and bites-n-stings salve for now. I'm planning to make sunscreen and burn salve in my next batch. I need to get some labels and a good logo. But they are ready to go right now!! I used the bites-n-stings salve on my daughter's friend who was here the other day. She got an ant bite outside, and we all know how those sting!! She came in and it was red, swollen and stinging. I put that on it, and she immediately said it felt better. :) I was so excited!! I knew it would. It's got the same stuff in it that I've used on my kids for years, and it's always worked!

So here are some pictures I've taken of my products:

Infusing the coconut oil with herbs to make my concoctions!

"Creamylicious" Fanny Cream

Cold/Cough Chest Rub

Eczema Salve (the bites-n-stings looks exactly the same as well.)

My products have Vitamin E for a preservative and have a shelf life of about 6-9 months (longer if stored in the refrigerator.) They can be shipped, but may need to be put in the refrigerator for a couple of hours after you receive them because of the summer heat. It won't change the way they work, but they are made with coconut oil which liquifies at temperatures above 77-80 degrees. Since they are not completely coconut oil but also have beeswax (and some have olive oil in them as well) I don't think they will really liquify, just get really soft. I need to work on a PayPal account as well and figure all that out because I'm not so great with all that right now!! But I know some people have asked me about them, and I wanted to let you know--they are ready!!

Prices as follows:
Creamylicious Fanny Cream $10
Cold-n-Cough Chest Rub $12
Bites-n-Stings Salve $12
Eczema Salve $12
Burns-n-Boo Boos $12


**For now, I've decided to work on the sunscreen a little more and figure a few things out before offering it. I want to make sure it's got good SPF and still as natural and organic as possible!**

Nursing older babies/toddlers

It's been forever since I've had a post. I think about it, and then I can't find a time to write. Then when I have time to write, I can't think of what I wanted to write about!!

But I've been thinking lately about what it's like to nurse an older baby in public. I've nursed my last four babies way beyond a year and up to two years. But after they start eating solid food, there usually isn't a huge need to nurse them when you aren't at home just because it's easier a lot of time to give them food when they are hungry. Now, there are times when it's more necessary.... when they are tired, hurt, whatever. But in general, I've personally found it easier just to nurse them at home and give them something easy to satisfy them when we are out.

The reasons for this are many. One reason is that older babies are more likely to "pop off" for no reason or without notice! :) Any sudden sound or noise or someone who comes up and talks usually peaks their curiosity. They need to look around to see what this new noise is--usually leaving you exposed for a second or two until you can get covered. While this doesn't really bother me, I am aware that there are others around that may take issue and (contrary to popular belief) I do like to be sensitive to their feelings! Another reason is because even if you do use a cover when babies are small, by the time they are older they are usually not as happy to be under that cover while nursing. Older babies (mine anyway) also tend to move around a lot. Mine seem to get up on their feet and dance around while still continuing to nurse. It's truly amazing that they can do this. But they do!! It's quite hard to control when you're out in public.

So in saying all that, my reasoning for writing this is because with Cedar I've found myself having to nurse him as an older baby out in public way more than my others. He will be a year on the 29th, and he's a big baby anyway so people tend to notice, make comments, etc. The reason that I find that I need to nurse him more is that he's gluten free. If I don't have a snack already prepared (which I usually don't because I'm not that organized) then I can't just give him crackers from the salad bar or goldfish from the nursery. I can't break little pieces of bread to appease him before his meal (usually consisting of fruit, chicken salad, beans or a baked potato depending on where we are dining--since we usually frequent the same places.) So I end up nursing him to keep him happy. I have noticed many more looks and stares in the last couple of months.

Even though I don't use a cover (because I think it screams "I'm nursing a baby under here") I'm very discreet. I have many people come all the way up and say "Oh, do you have a sleeping baby?" As long as he's still, that is! When he decides to do his "nursing dance" there's not a lot I can do about it. I still make sure I'm covered, but I just do my best to keep his dancing to a minimum.

But even with all of this, I've found people's comments interesting. I haven't had anyone say anything negative--mainly because I haven't had any comments from anyone I didn't know. I've certainly had looks from people I didn't know, but not comments. But the comments have mainly come at church and most of them in the nursery. Ha! I've been amused by how many people ask, "Um, exactly how old is he?" :) It does make me laugh. This is usually from women in their 50's or 60's. I think many of them didn't nurse because that was the big formula push in America. So I've found that some of them seem a little uncomfortable with nursing all together. So when you throw in the whole idea of nursing a baby who actually has teeth and can walk (oh the horrors) it just wigs them out! Like I said, if they don't see me start to nurse in the first place, they usually don't know what I'm doing. So they come up and see if he's asleep. Usually when they talk is when he does his whole "popping off" thing, and they kind of freak out. It's actually rather amusing. So that's when the question inevitably comes, "How old is he?" It's like they've heard of people out there nursing their babies beyond 6 months, but they didn't know that they actually knew someone who did it! :)

Thankfully, another friend of mine at church is still nursing her almost 13 month old as well. This is also her 6th child so we are just plain weird together!! :) One day we were in the nursery together nursing, and the volunteer who was in there was just kind of overwhelmed. I didn't really notice it at first, but then she asked the question, "Exactly how old are they?" I felt like giggling. That was when he was only 10 months and she was 11 months, but it was still quite the big deal.

I'm trying to do my part to normalize nursing older babies/toddlers for a year and beyond. The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends nursing for 2 years and then beyond that for whatever time is mutually enjoyable for mother and baby. This just means that as long as mommy and baby are both happy with the situation--go for it! The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has always recommended nursing "at least" one year and has recently changed their stance to two years. When you look at the amazing health benefits of breast milk, you really can't argue with it. It's physically and emotionally healthy for babies and their mommies. And I think that normalizing 'nursing in public' makes it easier for women to continue the breastfeeding relationship which is so important between mommy and baby. Personally, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Chicken Strips

So I've got another gluten free recipe. It's nothing earth shattering--just chicken strips!! :) But sometimes that's what I need--something easy and quick with not much thought. I hadn't tried them yet because I didn't know exactly what flours to use, but I just decided to go for it tonight. I mixed one part millet flour and one part sweet sorghum flour. I added celtic sea salt and Old Bay seasoning (yes, I checked, and it's gluten free as well.) I always dip my chicken in egg first to keep the batter on really well. I used sunflower oil in the deep fryer to fry them in. (Yes, I know deep frying is a horrible thing, but sometimes you just gotta fry something up!!) They were really good--especially with homemade honey mustard!!

Holy One

Face to the ground, I'm not proud

Of all you must see when you look at me.

I tremble at first as you wash the dirt 

The dirt from my feet and I see my need for Thee

You lift me up, Holy One, Holy One,

When I but come, You're enough, You're enough

You fill me up with Your love, with Your love

To You I run, Holy One, Holy One

All other noise fades away

Like all of the fear when Your voice I hear

You're beckoning me to come and just be

A child at your feet seeing my need for Thee

You lift me up, Holy one, Holy one

When I but come, You're enough, You're enough

You fill me up with Your love, with Your love

To you I run, Holy One, Holy One

You're enough to satisfy 

When the world has left me only dry

Enough to save my life 

When the world has left me here to die

You lift me up, Holy One, Holy One

When I but come, You're enough, You're enough

You lift me up, Holy One, Holy One

When I but come, You're enough, You're enough

You fill me up with your love, with your love

To You I run, Holy One, Holy One

This is a song by Rush of Fools. Their music really speaks to me. If you have a chance to check them out on itunes or something, I'd recommend it. I know they are from Alabama, but that's about all I know about them except that their lyrics are really reformed--whether they know it or not! :) 

My life is going through some sort of turbulent stuff right now--stuff that I can't really talk about here. But it would be sufficient to say that we could use your prayers. Music speaks to me all the time but especially when life seems to be spinning out of control. Some songs just know exactly what I need to say to God and exactly what I need to hear from him! 

I'll fill you in soon (hopefully) on all the details of my crazy life, but for now just know that I'm struggling and laying it all before the throne on a consistent basis throughout my day!! I'm resting in his hands and trusting in his goodness and love for us and in the fact that he has THE plan! And I want to be right in the middle of it--wherever that is!!