In His Time

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord....

I'm here in the Knoxville airport chasing after Cedar and trying to type a blog on my iPhone at the same time. Women can multi task, right? We had a great three days here looking for housing. We found a great house that we both love and agree would be perfect for us, but once again in my life, more waiting. Waiting for loan approval. That's going to be hard without selling our house first. But we will see. So if not, then it's waiting for our house to sell. I started to despair yesterday. We were driving around looking in newspapers and online for rentals. NONE that we could find in East Knoxville which is where we need to be. So we started driving out in the country to Newport--Where Jon's hospital is. On the way out I started feeling pretty anxious about all this. It's not that I think it won't work out, but I want to be up here with my husband as soon as possible. I don't want to be left in Naples with six kids and no husband indefinitely. But God gently reminded me that he has a plan. He told me he had me in a place where no one could rescue us but him. We have to rely on Him to sell our house and Him to buy a new one. We have to rely on Him to get us a loan. There's nothing anyone can really do to save us but Him. He wants me to trust. He wants me to show my children that I really trust Him as much as I say I do. As much as I absolutely love the house that we found and think it has so much potential for us, ultimately that's His decision too. If He's got a better place in mind, I want to know about it--in His time. I'm so glad my God has a plan, and I can't imagine how people do it that don't believe that or understand it.

We attended Redeemer Prebyterian Church this morning which made me want to get the house even more because if we rent out in the country, we will not be able to attend a church in town and the PCA church out there is tiny!! But thankful at least that there is one. Anyway, really liked the church this morning. God really spoke to me as we sang "Strength will rise as we WAIT upon the Lord." Wow. There it is again. Waiting. Surely I've waited enough by now. Surely I've learned what I need to know. But I guess not. Then we were using the beatitudes in responsive readings. I was very convicted again. The pastor would read a beatitude, and our response was basically "what we are instead." I can't remember exactly what we said, but it was something about thinking about possessions and prestige instead of being meek and humble. Now, I don't in any way think that I'm concerned with prestige--at least not the way the world thinks of it. But I was convicted about the possessions. It's not that I want a lot of possessions (I seriously want as few as possible!!) or want things that will make other people look at me or anything. But I'm obviously holding on to world things, putting my hope in tangible stuff not in Jesus.

So here I am again--unable to do anything about my circumstances--just where God wants me. I'm trusting still that He wants to give us "more than we could ever hope for or imagine." He has brought us this far; He will take us further still.