Digging for Grace

I don't know who's reading.....I don't have a big audience like some blogs do, and since I'm not on facebook right now, I'm not posting these. But I'll write for myself because I need to. I'll do it this morning amongst the chaos of kids running and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse singing to me. I'll do it even though I really should be getting school stuff together or at least taking a shower!!

But I feel like I need to write this morning because I need to share my heart. Compared to about 99% of the world, most of my life has been easy. If I've taken the time to look, I've been able to see God's grace stamped all over it. He was gracious to give me a wonderful husband, provider for our family, hard worker, loving father. He was gracious to give me six precious blessings from heaven. He was gracious to give me wonderful parents and then to plan for me to marry into a wonderful family as well. All these things are things that are very easily taken for granted and forgotten that they are all because of God's grace--it didn't have to be so.

These things haven't changed. I'm still benefitting from the graciousness of God through all these things. But I'm beginning to understand that God's grace doesn't always come in the nice, beautiful things that we see in our lives. I'm digging for grace these days. God's grace isn't always easy to see or recognize.

You know that wonderful husband that God was so gracious to give me....well, he has some faults to. :) I won't go into in detail here because of my respect and honor for him. But sometimes it's hard to see how those faults are "gracious" for me. But they are. There's another little thing that God does throughout our lives that shows his grace. It's a little word called sanctification. He is gracious enough to use those around us that we love (and sometimes those that we don't even know) to do this.

"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." ~Phil 1:6

Right now he's using a lot of things in my life to show me his grace and "bring me to completion." I'm digging for those things, believe me. I'm claiming his grace in the middle of the night when my precious little 4 and 7 year old blessings have woken me up for the 3rd, 4th, 5th time--in my bed, out of my bed, back in my bed, crying and waking the baby.....yes, sometimes it's hard to find the grace in these situations--so I'm digging! 


He is gracious when I get to the DMV to take my son to get his learner's license on his 15th birthday only to be told that I had to have a "school enrollment" form. (The kids are still enrolled in FL right now.) After my initial *government stay out of my business* rant, I realized that here I was right in the middle of God's grace as well. With my laid back attitude, I might have missed out on getting him into the umbrella school that we wanted.

He is gracious when I have to be creative to figure out how to make the grocery budget stretch enough to make it through the week. I haven't figured out all the grace in that one yet. :) But I know it's there. I really can figure out how, somewhere in my mind, I just don't want to have to think about it because it seems to be too much work. Once again....lots of sanctification!

So grace is overflowing. It's overflowing when I don't have the money for a cleaning lady (which, in my opinion, I really could use) because it gives me a chance to serve my family and teach my children how to care for our home and be in service as well. It's overflowing when I can't go to church and worship (and fellowship) for the 3rd or 4th week in a row because I get to sit at home with one or two children and focus on them--being together in some quality time alone for a couple of hours. It's overflowing when I'm woken up over and over in the night because I get to practice my own grace giving (and obviously I still need practice on that one because this continues to happen every night!)

I'm digging for grace in the everyday--in the mundane and sometimes the "pain in the butt" stuff that happens.

Lord, help me to see you and your grace in everything. Thank you for working in the everyday stuff to sanctify me and show yourself to me. 

40 days of Lent

Our family has never observed lent. This is a new one for us. To tell you the truth, my husband and I both thought it was more of a "Catholic" thing. Neither of us grew up in churches that said much about it. But the church we are in now follows the church calendar pretty closely. We went to our first Ash Wednesday service last week, and our whole family got ashes on our forehead. That made more of an impression on some than others. It actually made a huge impression on my 4 and 7 year olds. They've talked about it alot and it's brought on great discussion.

So since we're observing lent this year, I figured I should give something up. Isn't that what it's all about anyway? Sacrifice? Well, God had been working on my heart to give up Facebook for awhile. I couldn't really see giving up food. For me, that wouldn't have worked as the sacrifice that I needed to make--unless I gave up ALL food for 40 days he did. Yeah, I'm not ready for that yet!!

My kids have chosen to give up certain things as well. I'm most impressed with Shepley's sacrifice. After thinking for a couple of days, she decided to give up "art" (which translates into any coloring, drawing, painting, etc.) This is a huge part of her life, and when she first told me I almost said, "No, I don't think you need to do that." But the Holy Spirit help my tongue. I really think the Spirit was moving in her to lead her to this. She has struggled. She has been vocal with me about her desire to do it, but she wants to keep her promise to God. A couple of days ago, she came to me and said, "Mommy, I forgot! I forgot about lent and I colored something." She was heartbroken that she had broken her promise to God. Wow!! It gave me an opportunity to talk with her and tell her that that is what lent is all about. It's to show us that we CAN'T keep our promises to God!! We're incapable of just having a strong enough will to do it. It's about the fact that Jesus DID do it all. He kept his promises perfectly so that God sees us as perfect through him. I told her that the fact that she was so heartbroken and upset about breaking her promise was exactly what God wanted to see!! He wants a broken and contrite heart! What an example she was to me. I pray that her heart always stays that soft and desirous to live for him!

So for me, Facebook has been tough. I've been tempted to get on to see a picture or something. I also considered getting on long enough to just post this post on my blog. But I decided to do that after lent is over. I think it's been mostly tough because of being so far away from so many people that I love. It's my lifeline sometimes. I sat in church yesterday and cried and cried. Jon wasn't with me because Cedar had been sick, and he was home with him. I hadn't been able to go in a month so Jon let me go instead!! I sat in church and cried because I felt displaced. I felt like I don't belong anywhere. I don't belong in Naples anymore, but I don't yet feel like I belong here either. I think our church is doing great things here, but I'm not really sure that I belong there. I've never felt more lonely than I did yesterday sitting in church. Oh, it's not the church's fault. I'm not saying that. My 8 year old was totally acting up--really unlike him when he's with me. That brought on some of it. Just feeling the stares and judgements of the people behind me. If you have kids, you know how it is!! But at this church they don't just "shake hands" and say "Hello" at a certain point in the service. They celebrate community together. They laugh and talk and visit for a good five minutes or so. I've looked at that and loved that they do it. But it's hard when you don't feel a part of it. Part of me feels like I just haven't had the time to put into it what I need it.

But all of that to say that I started wondering if yesterday it hit me so hard because I haven't been on Facebook in five days. I haven't had my lifeline. Maybe that is what lent is all about. God wants us to give up our earthly lifelines and cling only to him. He showed me this clearly yesterday as tears were streaming down my face as we went up to take communion. He ministered to my soul--but I can't say I left there feeling whole. No, I think he probably has a lot more work to do. I'm not sure that I'm ready for it--but I'm willing. I can say with all my heart that I WANT him to be my only lifeline. Getting there is a whole other story.

I wish I could say that I came home and was able to spend all afternoon soaking in his word and he taught me all I needed!! :) No, I came home and cooked lunch, cleaned up lunch, put a baby to bed, tried to unpack more in my room, got a baby up after 30 minutes because the 4 year old had screamed in the house and woken him up, took three little ones to the park, made supper, read books, played a little here and there, and then.....another night was upon me where I wanted to just fall into bed but was reminded by my 8 and 9 year old that I needed to read more of our current read aloud before they went to bed.

So I'm praying (once again) for more diligence--to be wise with my time--to have the strength to rise up earlier than the baby at 6:30 (after being up once at night nursing him and up with the 4 and 7 year old figuring out their sleeping arrangements in their bed, in our bed, on our floor, back in our bed)...... Don't judge me here, please. I need more time to hang on to Jesus as my lifeline--up close and personal.

And back to that 8 year old acting up in church yesterday....I have no doubt it was his emotions about being here that were coming through. I talked with him about it yesterday afternoon, and he just broke down. He had just said to me that morning, "I don't like this new church" and "I hate Tennessee" and "I just want to go back to Naples." So I knew things were going to surface. And they did. Just at a very inopportune time! (Don't they always.)

But more about that little guy in another post. I need to get back to taking care of things around here.

Back to blogging

Well, it's been awhile! I have sat down a few times to write, but I just haven't had the inspiration. We've been in Knoxville now since November 14, and can I just say that it's been hard for me! I guess it's been hard because I didn't expect it to be. I'm a pretty free spirit--upbeat, positive, low stress, adaptable. I should have been fine, right? Man, I didn't realize how hard it would be--being in transition for a month before finally moving into our house, unpacking and trying to home school kids at the same time, trying to live "normal" life with six kids in the midst of chaos, months of very little sleep because of kids just not being able to get into a normal sleep pattern, having a very clingy four year old just about put me over the edge, pulling up roots of 11 years and all of our kids' memories and replanting those somewhere 14 hours away where they knew no one, finding new friends, and the biggest one--leaving our amazing church with such amazing people where God is doing amazing things and finding a new one!! Now, I'm not saying that God isn't doing amazing things here. I know that the mission of the church that we have been attending is a great one. I believe they are right on track with where God wants them to be. It's just different from where we've been. Different is hard sometimes.

I keep feeling like I want to get involved in things here--homeschooling things, the birth world (doula stuff), etc. but I just keep feeling like I've got too much still to do at home. The house is never clean enough. There are never enough groceries. Someone ALWAYS needs to be fed. Another box always needs to be unpacked. Another room always needs cleaning up. There's always something else that takes precedence before getting involved. I've heard about some homeschooling groups but we decided not to join a co-op in January for the remainder of the year. So I just continue to put things on hold. I did get a call out of the blue today from another doula here in Knoxville. I just changed my contact information on the DONA (doulas of north america) website, and I guess she noticed a new name. I was very excited to talk to her. It seems that the doula here are pretty involved together. I'd love to be a part of that! So that's something!

One thing that has been good that's come from the move is my kids' relationships with each other. Yes, they still have arguments and maybe even a little more because they are together all the time. But all in all, they have gotten so much closer. They love being together and playing together. And I have a 15 year old who hangs out at home, talks to me about all sorts of stuff and seems to be doing just fine even though he knows no one here! He's just that kind. Thankfully he has his iphone and he stays in touch with old friends, but as far as people here, there's no one yet. And he's just like his dad--he doesn't seem to mind! I'm hoping that will change next fall as he will be taking some classes at the co-op here, but until then, he seems fine to just stay at home and hang out!

So that's what's going on here, I guess. Not much still. I feel like our lives are on hold. We visited Naples in January, and that was hard. But we made it. I know this is where God has us. Jon is happy at work and feels challenged. I'm happy for him. I've had four kids on antibiotics in the last six weeks. That NEVER happens at our house!! But it did. I'm blaming it on the climate change. ;) We've switched another child to gluten free. That's kindof something that I'm tired of thinking about. Man, it would be easier just to fix her a turkey sandwich with "nanaise" (as she says.) GF bread just isn't so easy to work with. We do it, but it's expensive as well! Just something else to have to think about in my life!!

Sorry if this has been a negative, complaining blog. I guess maybe I needed to do this a long time ago and get this all out! I know God is working in my life. I know he has big plans. I trust Jeremiah 29:11 that says that he has plans for me--to give me a hope and a future. Right now I'm just waiting. Waiting until he reveals my future and those plans. To say right now is dry in my life would be the understatement of the year! I'm used to being used at church, in the community, and other places as well as in my home. I guess right now God just wants me here--at home. So that's what I'll do. I'll stay home while he wants me to and follow his lead when it's time to venture out. It's kind of lonely, but I'll be fine. God is good all the time.....even in the middle of the dry spells.

Long time....no blog

It's been awhile since I've been on here. Every now and then something crosses my mind to write about, but by the time I sit down and have the time to do it, it's either gone or not important anymore! Nothing much has changed about the fact that we are moving. But the circumstances surrounding that seem to change every day. I guess that's why I haven't been good about keeping this "up to date." Because as soon as plans are made, they change.

As of now, the kids and I are still in Naples. We were supposed to be moved last weekend. We were supposed to be in a rental house in Newport, TN at the bottom of the Smokies with a great yard and an amazing view. As wonderful as that was, it was temporary and we didn't know much beyond that. God took care of us in a great way!! He provided a way for us to get a loan to buy a home in Knoxville--which is where we really wanted to be. The country home would have been great. Quiet, spacious, lovely.....but we were both very disappointed at our church options in Newport. It's very important to both of us to have a close-knit, growing, living church family. As the body of Christ, we want to be a part of one that is making a difference and living out our commission. We visited a growing and thriving  church in downtown Knoxville when we visited in Sept. Finding out that we weren't going to be able to buy a house and live in Knoxville (because there were no rentals available for what we needed) was disappointing to say the least. We prayed and enlisted the children's prayers as well! They have taught me so much through all of this. They are so faithful to take everything before the throne of God and just ask with a childlike faith. They aren't surprised when he answers big (like I am.) I'm so blessed to have them teach me every day!!

So now I've been here for five weeks with six kids and no husband. I've always thought single parents were the most admirable people out there--selfless and giving. Now I don't even know how you do it--day in and day out. Since we home school, the days seem pretty monotonous sometimes with no changes and nothing to break up the time. Thankfully, my oldest can babysit so I've taken a few times to get away by myself or with a friend. But it's the night times that are hard. I never have an empty bed--for sure!! :) But I miss him most then.  I went to get a massage today, and it was blissful! I never do stuff like that, but Wednesday night driving home from church I really started noticing my back and shoulders and how "tingly" and stiff they were. This always happens when I'm nursing so I'm pretty used to it! :) But it gave me the idea to call a friend who is a masseuse and ask her about an appointment. One of my best friends was going with me (whose husband has also been out of town because they are moving as well) but God provided a different surprise for her!! Her husband surprised her by coming home this weekend! So I ended up going alone. I enjoyed a quiet 90 minutes of restfulness!

So the plan was for us to leave next Thursday (Oct. 20), stay in Perry with my parents for a couple of weeks and then go to TN to stay in a hotel or extended stay place until our house was ready for closing. Oh yeah, I forgot that part. We did end up buying a house--one that I've never seen except through pictures. Yes, I have lots of trust in my husband's judgement and taste (he's really good at that kind of stuff.) But I also realize that it's just a house--a place to put our stuff (that we have too much of) and lay our heads at night. It's not ours'--nothing is. It's a material possession. Therefore I can give that up too. God has worked out everything so perfectly and miraculously. I have to trust that He has given us the perfect house for our needs as well.

Our closing date is scheduled for Nov. 14. Jon was not really liking the idea of us all being in a hotel for two weeks, but we were both ready to live together again as husband and wife!! So last night a friend suggested that we check into a vacation rental. After all, we are moving to the vacation place of the south!! So I sent out some inquiries last night, and it looks like we have a house in the Smokies for the first three weeks of Nov. It gives us a week to get the closing done, our stuff moved in the house and time to settle in easily before we go my grandparents for Thanksgiving! The kids are thrilled! We went to Gatlinburg last year, and they still talk about it. Can't wait to home school in the fall in the Smokies with a fire in the fireplace, crispness in the air, fall leaves all around. It will be a whole new world for my kids--new surroundings and new experiences. I'm so excited!! The hardest part, though, will be actually getting the kids to do some school work instead of just playing all the time. But God is teaching us so much this year--sometimes life is just as much of a teaching lesson than anything else.

So that's our plan for now--leave Naples on the 20th, spend 1 1/2 weeks with my parents, then head to the Smokies for three weeks in Pigeon Forge. Then we'll head to Winder, GA for Thanksgiving--something we haven't done in 8 years (had a cool Thanksgiving!) and then finally back to our new home to hopefully be out of boxes by Christmas!! Yeah, right!! My mom is laughing right now. She knows it takes me about two years to get completely out of boxes!! :)

So life is hectic. I must say my heart is filled with dread when I think about the week looming ahead of me. Yes, we will have packers, but I must be organized first. Organization is not one of my strong points. I am also a major procrastinator and I don't even seem to SEE the stuff that needs to be done until it's eminent. So therefore.... I know what lies ahead, and it's not a pretty picture!! I'm afraid the packers will come Monday and tell me they "can't work like this." :)

I could use your prayers. Jon won't be flying in until Thursday morning so I'm alone in this. I've pretty much got the kids scattered to different places throughout the week, but I'll have a couple here with me most of the time as well. They have been so busy this past week they haven't had time to be sad. I know it will hit them soon though.

Tomorrow is our last time at church as members of Covenant Church of Naples. That thought sobers me and is probably the hardest part of leaving Naples. I don't know if I will cry or not. I don't really cry that much. But one thing is sure--part of my heart will be left here forever, and it will be planted there in the body of Christ--with those people whom I've gone through struggles with, prayed with, given and received meals and gifts and love to/from at times of rejoicing and hardships. I'm so thankful to have lived here for 11 years and especially for the last 3--where our church has come together as a true light and shining beacon for God.

I know God has plans for us wherever we go (Jer. 29:11), and I can't wait to see just how those unfold in the tapestry of our lives....

Blessings

Laura Story~Blessings

The first time I heard this song was maybe about a year ago when my sister-in-law sent it to me. I immediately downloaded it off of itunes because I loved it! Since then, it has recently become more popular, and I've heard it a few times on the radio on our Christian station here. This song hits so close to home for me!! It makes me guilty to even think that because I think, "what right do I have to think that I have gone through heart aches or hard times?" I've never struggled with cancer, lost a husband or a child, had some major catastrophe in my life.... I realize that!! And I thank God for that as well. 

If you haven't heard it, I think it would bless you to click on the above link and listen. Even though my trials and struggles are trivial compared to some, there is some wonderful theology here in this simple song. One of my favorite parts is during the bridge when it says, 

"the pain reminds us that this is not, this is not our home."

I've thought of that very thing so many times over the years--this longing we have in our hearts. We know we are supposed to strive for contentment--to be content in all situations. And yet somewhere, somewhere down deep there is always a longing. We can't ever seem to figure it out. It's in all of us--something that longs for something better, something that can't be satisfied, something that always is pulling us "home." We feel this most when circumstances in our life are less than perfect. We feel it when times are tough and people are mean. We can't understand how God could let these things happen. But so many times I've thought these things, and God has brought me back to "this is not your home."

He doesn't want us to be satisfied with this earth and all it has to offer. This sinful, marred place of death and decay isn't the goal!! Within each of us is a longing for our eternal home--that perfect place where we will finally feel fulfilled, settled, loved, and completely satisfied. We will reach it one day. But for now, we have to learn how to live with this--the temporary, the here and now, the pain and heartache. He is the answer to it all. He fulfills our hearts desire while living in this sin filled world. He is with us when the world disappoints. He is our blessing when it seems that everything is crashing down.

"What if my greatest disappointments or the achings of this life are the revealings of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy...."

If that doesn't say it all....just like knowing that this is not our home, we know that this world can't satisfy. On this side of heaven, what really can?? Only Jesus. This world, once again, marred by sin and death, is just a shell of what God intended it to be. My soul thirsts, my heart longs to be quenched, and it can only be satisfied with Jesus. This world will never be enough. Just look at the suicide rates, drug abuse, teen pregnancy, problems with cutting, anything that people do to be accepted or just to end it all...we see that the world can't satisfy. Maybe God brings these heartaches to show us that. Maybe he orchestrates the hard times, the unanswerable problems and heartaches just to show us that HE is the only answer. He wants us to run to him, long for him, hunger and thirst for only Him.

We live in a world full of people running the rat race. They are all trying desperately to get ahead, get the next big break, find happiness in money or popularity. Look at all the people who go to try out for American Idol or one of those reality shows where they could be the next BIG star. That's what it's all about in the world. How sad. How sad when the day comes, and they have it all, and they realize that they still aren't satisfied. Because it will come. Blaise Pascal said,

"There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, make known through Jesus."

 I think that's what Laura Story is trying to say in this lines of this song. Yes, the song is about blessings coming in disguised ways. But I think it's about so much more. It speaks to me in different ways these days as I'm preparing my house, my children, and my life to pick up and leave eleven years of "home." I'm not disappointed that we are going, but there have been disappointments that have played a part in all of this and still do. Things haven't gone as I had planned for sure. I didn't expect to be at this point and still not know where I would be moving my "stuff"! I expected that we would have a nice house, in Knoxville, with a nice church, get involved, etc. etc. That's not the way it's turning out. But I'm learning more and more every day to trust my Savior. I trust his plan. I trust in his sovereignty.

I know this is not my home. I know that this world cannot satisfy. And so this song speaks to my heart.

In His Time

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord....

I'm here in the Knoxville airport chasing after Cedar and trying to type a blog on my iPhone at the same time. Women can multi task, right? We had a great three days here looking for housing. We found a great house that we both love and agree would be perfect for us, but once again in my life, more waiting. Waiting for loan approval. That's going to be hard without selling our house first. But we will see. So if not, then it's waiting for our house to sell. I started to despair yesterday. We were driving around looking in newspapers and online for rentals. NONE that we could find in East Knoxville which is where we need to be. So we started driving out in the country to Newport--Where Jon's hospital is. On the way out I started feeling pretty anxious about all this. It's not that I think it won't work out, but I want to be up here with my husband as soon as possible. I don't want to be left in Naples with six kids and no husband indefinitely. But God gently reminded me that he has a plan. He told me he had me in a place where no one could rescue us but him. We have to rely on Him to sell our house and Him to buy a new one. We have to rely on Him to get us a loan. There's nothing anyone can really do to save us but Him. He wants me to trust. He wants me to show my children that I really trust Him as much as I say I do. As much as I absolutely love the house that we found and think it has so much potential for us, ultimately that's His decision too. If He's got a better place in mind, I want to know about it--in His time. I'm so glad my God has a plan, and I can't imagine how people do it that don't believe that or understand it.

We attended Redeemer Prebyterian Church this morning which made me want to get the house even more because if we rent out in the country, we will not be able to attend a church in town and the PCA church out there is tiny!! But thankful at least that there is one. Anyway, really liked the church this morning. God really spoke to me as we sang "Strength will rise as we WAIT upon the Lord." Wow. There it is again. Waiting. Surely I've waited enough by now. Surely I've learned what I need to know. But I guess not. Then we were using the beatitudes in responsive readings. I was very convicted again. The pastor would read a beatitude, and our response was basically "what we are instead." I can't remember exactly what we said, but it was something about thinking about possessions and prestige instead of being meek and humble. Now, I don't in any way think that I'm concerned with prestige--at least not the way the world thinks of it. But I was convicted about the possessions. It's not that I want a lot of possessions (I seriously want as few as possible!!) or want things that will make other people look at me or anything. But I'm obviously holding on to world things, putting my hope in tangible stuff not in Jesus.

So here I am again--unable to do anything about my circumstances--just where God wants me. I'm trusting still that He wants to give us "more than we could ever hope for or imagine." He has brought us this far; He will take us further still.

The ups and downs of leaving and going

I HATE "good-byes." I absolutely ABHOR them with a passion. Even when someone I know is leaving from my life and I am staying in the same place, I really don't tell them "good-bye" but ONCE--right before they leave. I just hate long good-byes. So now it's my turn to leave, and it's going to be over a month before I go. I told my husband this morning as we were driving in to church for the first time since we found out about the move that I dreaded this month. It's certainly not that I don't appreciate people telling me how sad they are that we're leaving or how much they'll miss us. I am very thankful and feel very blessed for the amazing friends and family and church we have here. I will miss them all dearly, and I am overwhelmed by the love that they all show us--from intimate friends to those we've "known" from afar and for a short time. I'm touched by their care and concern and love.

It's just that I don't want to waste my time talking about that! I want life to continue as usual up until the very point we leave--then I will cry and say "good-bye" and be done with it!! But for close friends, it's not 'good-bye forever.' It's 'good-bye for now.' It's 'until I see you again.' Jon's parents live here, and we will be back to visit often. We will ALWAYS attend Covenant Church when we come because our heart is there. It will always be home for us. Five of our six children were born and baptized there. It's all they've known. And even our oldest, who moved here when he was three, doesn't remember anything else. It's quite embarrassing as our 14 year old goes barefooted around the church because (as he puts it) "this is my home." He tells me that God doesn't care if he's barefooted, and I'm sure he's right; but we have yet to get the "irreverent" part to stick in his head....but that's another post! :)

I realize that it's not ever going to be the same. I won't be able to call up my very good friend anymore and say, "Can we just hang out at your house today and forget about school?" :) I won't just casually bump into the same familiar faces at church with the cordial nod and "Good to see you." For quite awhile I won't have the network of friends that I do here. I realize life isn't going to be the same. Eleven years is a while. It's not forever; but it's long enough to put roots down, get established, make lasting connections and friendships, grow a family, grow a church, and leave a part of your heart behind when you go. That's just what we'll do. A part of us will always be here in the lives of those we've loved and who have loved us. But these are the sober thoughts that I don't want to dwell on in the next month!! We still have school to do, friends to see, things to sort through and pack, decisions to make.

For now I am focusing on living in beautiful Tennessee, less than an hour from the mountains. I'm excited about having seasons again--and that when I get there it will actually already be getting cooler. Imagine that, it will be getting cooler in October rather than waiting until January for some relief!! :) I'm excited about changes: meeting new friends, looking at churches, seeing old friends, meeting new home schoolers, and the most exciting thing of all--BUYING WINTER CLOTHES!! Can I just tell you that that is very close to the top of my list of my all time most anticipated thing about moving!!! Shallow, huh? Well, I don't care. I have looked longingly at winter clothes for my kids and myself for years--willing myself to restrain from buying something that we don't need but having a hard time of it!! So now I finally get an excuse to buy warm, snuggly clothes, boots, cute hats and mittens, thick sweaters and corduroy. I get to buy hiking boots and clothes and more camping gear. (Can you tell yet that I really like to spend money??) My husband is not as excited about this prospect as I am. He, in fact, is quite scared when I start talking this way. But I do know my limits. I won't do too much--and that will take even more will power than not doing anything at all!! :) As I said before, I'm an all-or-nothing girl!

I'm excited about mountains again, the prospect of snow, cool Thanksgivings and cold Christmases. I know these things aren't guaranteed in the South, but I can promise my chances there are 100% better than they are here in Naples!! I may actually like a pretty mild winter this first winter to ease me in. I know my kids might need it! :) No more flip-flops all year long or forgetting our shoes weren't in the car. No more running out the door any time of year in just shorts and a t-shirt. No more playing outside in the nude in December (no, not me--my little ones.) :)

So our emotions are all over the place at the Richards' Ranch. I am trying to be the stable one for my kids who can be elated one minute and bawling the next. I'm not allowed to think about my own feelings or emotions right now. I'll deal with those on the drive up!! I'm thankful for good friends, great support, much love, and a wonderful network of people surrounding us at this time.....

.....Just don't tell me "good-bye" til I leave!! :)