Making Choices

I decided to write this today because it's been on my mind. Lately I've become aware (especially through Facebook) that so many people that I know (and have known in the past) are affected by the not-so-great choices that they made earlier in their lives. Usually these choices were made right out of high school or college or maybe into their 20's. Maybe sometimes these choices were more recent. But the people that I am talking about are people who are really trying to live for Christ now. I can see it in the lives or in their posts. I can see it in the things they talk about and dwell on. I can see it in how they want to raise their children and the relationships that they want to have. But no matter how much they desire to live by God's design right now, those choices are still haunting them.

I believe with all my heart that if we are faithful to God, he will redeem our choices--even the bad ones. Romans 8:28 tells us that "All things work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose." That means that even those bad choices will work for our good, but that doesn't mean that the consequences will go away. Sometimes we may have to live with those consequences for the rest of our lives. This is so sad to me!

Choices like drinking/drugs, marrying the wrong guy/girl and ending up divorced (especially with children), affairs, abortion or maybe even just the "wrong" friends have a huge impact on us and everyone involved in our lives. I hurt for these people who truly have a heart for God now, and yet they continue to live with consequences of the choices they made before their heart was turned to him.

I'm not saying I made all the right choices. I definitely made some not-so-great choices myself--especially in high school. I am eternally grateful that God has redeemed those choices as well. I am ever so thankful as well that he directed my path to Covenant College. I believe that my life would be much different right now if he hadn't. I know that some Christians can attend a secular school and be fine. My brother did that. He graduated from the University of GA and did fine. He went to RUF and did great. He was just that kind of kid! But not me. I truly believe that if I had attended a secular college, I would not have been strong enough spiritually at the time to stand up against the pressure and make the right choices. I was a believer--no doubt. I have no question that if I had died right after high school, I would have spent eternity in heaven. But I was 17. I was immature. And I loved having fun! :) I still love having fun, but have grown up a little since then and realize that I have many more little lives that I am responsible for these days that will be directly impacted by my choices. I also don't find a lot of the same things to be "fun" anymore! :) But suffice it to say, I believe that God saved me from a lot of heartache by directing me to Covenant.

I have often thought about my choice to attend Covenant. There's really no answer as to "why" I went. People (especially during college) have asked me over the years why I went there. My real answer is "I don't know--only by the Lord's direction." I knew no one there. I had only known a couple of people who had gone there but not very well and not really people who influenced my life at all. Crazy. I was in the PCA, but besides that had no connection to Covenant. And yet, somehow, it was the only college to which I ever even applied! I got early acceptance at the end of my Jr. year of high school, and that was that. It was settled. I knew that my parents would be happy with me going to a Christian college, and I guess that's one place that my "first born-ness" must have kicked in!

And that is where the right choice made such a HUGE difference in my life. Covenant is where I made the best friends of my life. The four girls who still challenge me (almost on a daily basis even 16 years after graduation) to live my life as a wife, mother, friend, and Christian for Jesus. This has impacted me more than I can ever say. Covenant is where I learned what a Christian worldview really meant. It's where I learned to live my faith and make it mine. I learned that it's okay to question--as long as you're willing to look deep for the answers. I learned a lot of things and matured a lot.

But the most important way that Covenant changed my life is that I met my husband there. Together we changed. Together we were challenged to look at what our life would be like. Yes, we were young and in love and couldn't imagine ever not being "in love" and actually having to work at making a marriage work. But unlike so many others, we were told that it would happen. We were aware that one day, we may not feel like staying together or loving each other--but that's what commitment was all about. And the most important of all--we were equally yoked. Through all of our immaturity at 20 and 22 years of age when we said "I do," we both knew that was the most important thing. We served and worshipped the same God, and even though that may have looked different in each of our lives, we knew how important it was.

Okay, this isn't a post on marriage. But that's definitely one of the best choices I ever made--to marry a strong, faithful man who is dedicated to his God and family and will always work hard to take care of us.

Yes, I've made wrong choices even after marriage and children. I'm sure I always will. But the big choices that I have made have brought me to where I am today. I have no doubt that it has been God's leading to bring me to make any choices that have been the "right" ones. I believe that through infertility he showed me how to live daily in his presence. I believe that through hard times he teaches us more than we could ever learn through easy times. And when we bring those choices to him and place them in his hands, he will lead us in the right direction to make the right choices--choices that will bring him glory and honor and will, in turn, bring joy to our lives and those around us.

And why did I make any of the "right" choices that I made? I guess when I ponder this, I'd have to say it was prayer. Not my prayer--mind you. Yes, I prayed. But at 16 and 17 I can tell you that I wasn't on my knees daily giving all my choices to God. I believe it was through the faithful praying of my parents and my Grandma and others in our church family who committed to pray for me. That is why I am so thankful that my children having praying grandparents and even great-grandparents. They have parents who daily lift them up and lay them before the throne. Prayer is such a powerful weapon that we so often forget.

So I would encourage you to pray for your kids. Even if you messed up with lots of bad choices and are still reaping the consequences of those choices today, bathe your children in prayer. Maybe your prayers can keep them from making the same ones! Bring your little ones to him--that's exactly where he wants them!