The Journey Continues

So a couple of weeks ago, I posted about the journey of life. Things have kind of been on hold here for a little bit while I've been processing this next step in our journey as a family.

You may also remember if you read my new year's blog that I listed a lot of things that I had "learned" during 2012. Don't ever do that. Especially with something that you really don't have control over!!

One of those statements was "I'm done having biological children" and another was "I'm too old to have a 2 year old."

Well, God is saying, "Oh no, honey! Negative to both of those statements!!"

Yes, you read that right. We are having another baby. Baby Richards #7 is due sometime around the beginning of November 2013. And I'm so happy! :)

In my last blog post, I talked about how each of us was called to "take up our [own] cross" and to deny ourselves. Admittedly, I did feel this way in the beginning. It was quite a shock for me to process when I'm turning 40 in September to think that once again, I'm starting over. Cedar has been such a rambunctious ball of joy (and I say that with ALL sincerity) that it was hard for me to think about going through this 2-3 age again in three years!! But the same God who parted the Red Sea and the same God who raised Lazarus from the dead is the same God who will sustain this 40-something year old body through toddlerhood and my 50-something year old body through the teenage years. And he's the same God that will sustain me through 30+ straight years of homeschooling.

In the couple of weeks that I've had to process this news, God has taken me all over the place. But the place where he's always got me is right in the middle of his plan--his sovereign, gracious plan that he has promised is to give me a "hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11) I can rest in the knowledge that my Savior has it all planned out, and this baby is not a footnote or a surprise to him. This life was planned out and known before the foundation of the world. And even as He is knitting this precious one together, the days of his life are already formed and written in His book. (Psalm 139:16.)

What an awesome Savior we serve! I am in awe of his graciousness to me--to give me yet another chance to give life to an eternal soul. What a privilege we have as women to grow life in our womb and bring it forth for his glory.

My children are thrilled. They couldn't be happier to share their lives with another blessing. I'm also blessed to have parents and in-laws and family members who are happy for us. I know that this isn't always so with big families.

I don't know what the future holds. I don't know where this baby's clothes will go or anything else. I know he/she will sleep with us for the first few months. After that, I can't tell ya what's going to happen!! :) I have no more maternity clothes, no infant car seat, no high chair or bumbo, no baby swing or exersaucer. Ha ha!!

But I do know that there will be plenty of arms to hold this baby, lips to kiss it all over, and love to smother it with. And I know that this mama and daddy are very ready and excited to welcome another precious gift of life and love into our already "very full" world!!

Thank you, Jesus!

The Journey

If I have learned anything in these last few years it's that life is a real journey. Sometimes the journey is easy and light and fun! The Disneyworld vacation time of life!! Other times we trudge through muck and mud and all the yuckiness that goes with it. And then there are the dry desert times.

Through all of these times of our life we learn. Some learn better than others. That doesn't necessarily mean the rest of the journey is easier. It usually just means you can enjoy it more. Learning not only to "live through" but actually "find joy in" life's hard times is a gift--one that we should all seek to find.

I believe one way we find joy in the hard times is truly surrendering ourselves to God's will for our lives. I've got some stuff going on right now that I can't talk about yet, and he is teaching me volumes about surrendering to his will and what that truly means.

About a year ago I blogged about a song that meant a lot to me. It's by Sidewalk Prophets. It's called "You can have me." I'm going to put the lyrics here again because they hit so close to home for me right now.

"If I saw you on the street, and you said, 'Come and follow me,'

But I had to give up everything--all I once held dear and all of my dreams.

Would I love you enough to let go?

Or would my love run dry when you asked for my life?

When did love become unmoving?

When did love become unconsuming?

Forgetting what the world has told me.

Father of Love, you can have me.

You can have me.

If you're all you claim to be then I'm not losing anything.

So I will crawl upon my knees just to know the joy of suffering. 

I will love you enough to let go.

Lord, I give you my life. I give you my life!!

When did love become unmoving?

When did love become unconsuming?

Forgetting what the world has told me.

Father of Love, you can have me.

You can me.

I wanna be where you are.

I'm running into your arms.

And I will never look back

So, Jesus, here is my heart!

When did love become unmoving?

When did love become unconsuming?

Forgetting what the world has told me.

Father of Love, you can have me.

My Father, my Love, you can have me."

~Sidewalk Prophets

"You can have me"

These Simple Truths (album)

As I'm struggling through something right now, this spoke in a huge way to me yesterday. This is one of those songs that you can sing along to no big deal--until something happens and God is really asking you to give him your everything. We THINK we give him everything all the time. Then when he really asks, we see how much we hold back.

He's been teaching me that everyone has their own cross to bear in this life, and that they are all different. My cross doesn't look like anyone else's. Sometimes other people's look like styrofoam compared to mine. But then it's not too hard to look around and see others struggling to even stand or crawl under the weight of theirs. It's not for me to judge or tell God what cross I want. He only tells us "Take up your cross and follow me." (Luke 9:23) Right before he says that, he tells us to deny ourselves. That's part of it. 

Denying ourselves can mean so many things. For some, it may mean physically denying food or comforts. For others it may mean denying the easy life. It's as individual as knowing what stands in the way between us and God (our idols) and denying ourselves those things so that we can walk more closely with him and look more like him. Sometimes he sends things into our lives to "help" us deny ourselves a little more. Those things can be tough to take. 

But even though I'm learning what it means to deny myself right now, to take up my cross, to follow him daily--I'm choosing joy in the journey. And when I'm able to share what's going on in my life right now, it will be with a joyful heart that has hopefully comes to grips with what it's going to take to continue to follow my Jesus unabashedly!